dating

"I was brutally rejected by someone I liked. So now I'm asking everyone out."

So a few weeks ago, at a bar, slightly tipsy, I did the unthinkable.

I asked a guy out. On a date.

Anyway, so I was at this bar on a Saturday night with a group of friends and was talking to this guy who I’ve known for a while and had a huge crush on.

We were talking for a few minutes and I was telling him about my work, when suddenly I had this random urge to ask him on a date. I don’t know what made me do it (it was definitely the alcohol) but I just blurted out “we should grab a drink together sometime”.

Now, I would just like to point out that I have never asked someone out before. For some weird reason I asked him out before I even completed my previous sentence. I also yelled it at him so it didn’t really sound like a question. A LOT was going on. I would like to think that I took him by surprise because his response was “oh… no”. After watching him analyse my face and realise how embarrassed I was, he apologised and told me that he just saw us as friends.

A totally valid, truthful and appropriate response. However, I definitely did go home and cry about it to my mum because I’m a Taurus.

After a solid two hours of feeling sorry for myself, I had what I like to call my first “BRE” moment (Big Rejection Energy). I realised that I asked a guy out for the first time and didn’t… die. I was fine. So fine that I wanted to do it again straight away. So I did.

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The Sunday after, I hopped on Hinge and asked out two more guys. I felt like this worked better for me because I was able to type it out instead of yell it at them. One said “sure” and the other said “maybe sometime soon” (I deleted him). I went on two dates with the guy who said yes before we both agreed that we weren’t compatible. I was just happy that my BRE allowed me to not worry about wasting time with small talk.

A few days passed and I had never felt better about myself. I found that not being scared of rejection made me much more confident in other aspects of my life. More than that I felt empowered. 

Listen to the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud, where Mia Freedman, Holly Wainwright and Jessie Stephens discuss the act ruining your sex life. Post continues below. 

My BRE was raging and I had a solid 1:1 rejection ratio going on. Fast forward to a few days ago. I was at the gym on one of the treadmills, because that’s the only machine I know how to use when the screen started to glitch. (I say it’s the screens fault but I definitely did something to it). I was trying to fix it, when the guy on the treadmill next to me lent over, and pushed a few buttons to get it working again.

He started to explain to me how to use the easiest workout machine in the world but I wasn’t listening because all I was thinking about was how I was going to ask him out. He finished his sentence to which I swiftly replied with a “maybe we can train together and you can teach me more?” PERFECT EXECUTION.

He (obviously) said yes. So now, not only do I have a workout buddy, but a possible future friend/sex/life buddy as well.

So… I debunked the myth. If you like someone, ask them out.

It turns out that if they say no, it won’t be the end of the world.

And there’s something ridiculously liberating about that.

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