Families are complex, and the bigger one’s family gets, the messier things become.
Is it likely you’ll have anything in common with your third cousin twice removed? NOPE.
Or perhaps your vegan cousin Susan is having a go at racist Uncle Steve again. And perhaps he deserves it.
Fights and eye roll moments are inevitable, but there are many ways you can keep yourself well and truly away from the dram-ah, and achieve your perfect Hallmark Christmas.
1. Offer to help wash up.
It’s a trick as old as time, and while it may feel a little bit ~patriarchal~ to, as a woman, spend the entire day cleaning up, it will be worth it because as you scrub on that Tupperware container Susan and Steve will be far away, fighting without your input. Big win.
2. Feign an illness.
If you’ve ever read a Jane Austen novel you’ll be familiar with the old “I’m uncomfortable with the current situation” faint. It’s best used when the family drama becomes way too much, and allows you at least a 30 to 40 minute lie down in your (or a relative’s) room alone on your phone. It might be more convenient to cry “food poisoning” than a random spurt of faintness, but read the room and make the call on the day.
3. Know your person.
Everyone has that one person at Christmas who is on your wavelength. Get them onside early and escape for yarns regularly throughout the day. It’s essential for survival.