I jumped in a taxi the other day after a TV appearance in the city. I thought I’d scrubbed up pretty well until the cabbie said, “You’re having a girl!”
“Sorry?’ I said with confusion.
“You’re having a girl, “he said with a huge confident grin.
“Actually I have three boys,” I said, still not understanding where he was going.
And then he dropped the clanger. “You’re pregnant, right?”
He suddenly looked panic stricken and turned a shade of violet before being saved by a call on his mobile phone.
I was more amused than upset, as I have never been fitter. So what little bump or shadow gave him the confidence to go THERE? To the place of no return. To the place that could easily land you with a slap on the face?
It’s a place visited too often by well meaning, intelligent men, who have never been taught the most basic of social rules. Never utter these five words. “When is the baby due?”
The only exception to this rule is if the woman appears to be going into labour.
Ignore all urges to comment on her tummy, even if she’s as round as a barrel, unless she’s told you directly or you’ve seen a stick with two blue lines.
You see, suggesting a woman is pregnant when she is not, is confidence crushing for her. Long after you forget your shameful question, she will still be thinking about it; when she looks in the mirror, when she pops on her new dress, when she catches a glimpse of herself in the reflection of a shop window.
There’s a fair chance she will find new girlfriends with the names Nancy Gantz and Spanx. And she will repeat the tale to other women who will gasp in shock, tell her it’s outrageous and lie about what a flat tummy she has.