When's the right time to leave hospital after giving birth?
It used to be that new mothers would stay in hospital for days after the birth of their children. Now its more like hours. The Herald Sun reports that hospitals are offering mothers gifts (like nappies, frozen meals and cleaning services) and visits from midwives to persuade them to leave hospital early and free up beds to cope with a rising number of births.
The offer is usually reserved for women having their second or third babies, although some health experts are concerned that these offers could encourage mothers to go home before they’re ready.
When it came time to go home from hospital, Mamamia contributor Sarah Wayland had two very different experiences after the birth of her children. She writes:
There was an article in the paper recently about the new strategy aimed at early hospital discharge for new mums – some in as little as four hours post delivery. There was a picture in the paper of a new mum holding her gorgeous little girl who spoke about going home a few hours after her daughter was born, I guess in answer to the question that a lot of us were thinking “Why?” She explained that ‘for me, there was no better place to be than at home with baby. It was beautiful to not wake up the next day not in a strange, sterile environment but my own bed.’
Like every imaginable aspect of parenting there are a multitude of reasons why we make certain decisions but this article, and the mums response, got me thinking.
I’ve got a pigeon pair (as many people point out to me, even though I confess I don’t know what that means?). I had my daughter 5 years ago at a public hospital, using only the midwife service, it was a low risk pregnancy and everything went to plan – I even had a water birth (not by choice I simply refused to get out of the bath once they got me in). About 18 hours after I gave birth a nurse came to my room and asked me if I was ready to go home – I wasn’t – but it was my first entree into the world of difficult to answer parenting questions – you know those ones you get asked and you have no idea about how to respond. I wondered if all of the other mums had gone home, I wondered if it was a trick question. Part of me wanted to point out that I hadn’t yet accepted the fact that the babe in the see- through cradle actually came from my body. So I waited, a whole other 12 hours and then pronounced I was ready and so off I went with a bunch of numbers, a cute going home outfit and a tiny, tiny babe.
Second time around I did it differently. Life was different so my second baby followed suit. I booked into a private hospital, I had an obstetrician, once again it was low risk and everything went to plan – I suddenly remembered mid contraction what labour actually felt like and I ordered an epidural. Five days later I emerged from the hospital with more than a bunch of numbers – I’d had three proper meals a day, I’d slept as much as I could and I’d made it through those first few days when that sense of impending doom descends upon you as you remember the feelings that come with such a huge responsibility like having a baby (or 2).
The Towards Normal Birth Directive (NSW) has a lot of recommendations and early discharge is only one of them. The key points that are reinforced are support and choice – but each mum’s interpretation of those words will differ. I like the idea about being able to choose how you manage that first week of your baby’s life but I also remember that feeling of getting home and not knowing what to do – sure you get to see a midwife when she pops in but parenting doesn’t happen during a half hour timeslot. On the outside we can all look as if we have all the support we need but sometimes you don’t realise what you are missing until you’re home….I’d imagine that sometimes a few hours after birth we might struggle remembering our own names let alone how to get dressed and head home. Let’s hope mum’s feel as empowered to say ‘no I’ll stay’ rather than ‘sure let’s go’….
Sarah Wayland has been working as a social worker in the missing persons field since 2003. She is a mum of two and is currently completing postgraduate studies in the field of hope and loss at the University of New England. Visit Sarah’s Blog here.
Here is Mia discussing this issue on the Today Show this morning:
What do you think – if you could have gone home straight after the birth would you have taken up the offer?
Comments
140 Comments so far
I’m the mum of a 33 weeker who spent five weeks in hospital before being discharged. That might seem like a long time for a new mum to adjust, but the hospital refused me the opportunity to spend even one night alone in a room with my son before I took him home. I was terrified and suffered anxiety as a result. When I asked the baby health nurse for help, she said I’d have to wait until my next appointment to discuss my concerns. Fortunately my obstetrician took my fears more seriously. So my advice to premmie mums is make sure you get a chance to ‘room in’ with your baby for at least a night or two before your little one is discharged. That way you’ll have a chance to bond privately for the first time, with the reassurance that help is only the press of a buzzer away.
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WOWZERS! GIVE A MUMMA A BREAK ALREADY! I stayed a fabulous 5 nights in hospital. Yes I was in a private hospital, where my husband slept in a queen size bed with me. (I was very spoilt). The point is that from day 1-5 I went from idiot to expert, with the careful and gentle guidance of experts. Getting it right from the beginning leads to a healthy, happy mum and bub. Seems like we should be expecting more from our healthcare system and encouraging mum’s (especially first timers) to do things at their own pace, not gesturing to the exit 5 min after the umbilical cord is cut?
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Mothers, no matter how many babies they have had before,all need special love, attention and support. The pressure on someone to go home so soon after birth, risks that some women will go home, reluctantly, without any of that. What does that mean for these women? It risks that they may fall foul of depression, may not be able to manage the demands of their baby and could cause them to even harm their baby. If we lived in a world where neighbours spoke to you, family lived nearby and could help, and friends were there for you, all would be well. We need to support and care for our mums. Xox
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4 hours…for me anyway. I was in hospital for 5 days with my first and so far only bub….I hated it, I just wanted to be in my own home and my own bed but had to stay cuz I lost over 2 liters of blood. I was so jealous to see other women leave after only 2 days.
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I believe too many babies are being born today, to very young woman… don’t they think about the future for the children they’re giving birth to and their future in an over populated world. I guess with little food they won’t have obesity problems though.
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After I had my 3rd baby, I nearly cried, as they expected me to leave th ehospital almost straight after!! Yes it was a natural birth, no stiches, good feeding etc BUT my house was in complete disarray ( being renovated) and I had 2 little kids at home that I would have to start looking after as oon as I returned. I managed to stay 12 hours and then they asked me to leave! Terrible.
I really could have done with some more bonding time with my baby, on my own before going back to the realities of life with 3.
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I was in hospital 6 days after having my son in RPA in May last year as a public patient. Although I have private healthcare we decided to go public as I was confident that we would receive great care as this is one of the main hospitals in Sydney. I had a almost 28 hour labour that ended in a forceps delivery of a 9 pound baby boy after which I had a post partum haemorrhage and lost a lot of blood – so as a result of this I had to have 2 blood transfusions. I also had high blood pressure resulting from labour so I was very heavily medicated to try to help that. Being my first child I was very over whelmed and because of the trauma I suffered during and after my labour my milk didn’t come in properly for almost 9 days.
I was mostly happy with the level of care I was given at RPA. There are only a few things that stick in my mind that I wish could have been done differently.
Even being very unwell after labour I felt a lot of pressure from the midwives and breast feeding consultants to get breast feeding right without a lot of genuine 1 on 1 help – this left me feeling like a failure. It would sometimes take 40 mins plus for a midwife to come and assist me to feed my new baby who was screaming for a feed – this resulted in my trying on my own to feed him. After 3 days of this I ended up with 2 very sore and cracked and bleeding nipples that completely scabbed over. I ended up having to give my baby boy formula because I couldn’t breastfeed him. There is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding, as he was a big boy and I continued to combination feed till he was 7 months and now he’s just on bottles (and solids), but in hospital I was made to feel like the worst mother and I almost had to demand after 3 hours of trying to feed him to get him a bottle as he was starving! This in my opinion was not good enough, I after 5 days was then told about a nipple shield (mind you that I had to pay for) that made a huge difference and for the first time I had a little success feeding normally – But again I was made to feel like I was a failure for needing a shield. The other HUGE mistake that was made was I was sent home on a very high dose of medication – they forgot to reassess my meds before sending me home. This resulted in me ending up with VERY low blood pressure. This in my mind id NOT good enough, I was very lucky my husband was home with me as I almost passed out 3 times in the first 2 days of being home – luckily I saw my GP within 3 days of leaving hospital and he cut my meds – I tired to get into contact with the hospital and ask about my meds but no one could give me a straight answer. With this said I was very lucky that I had my own private room my entire stay so my husband was able to stay with me the whole time I was in hospital and I did get 3 really lovely and very helpful midwifes during my stay which made all the difference – one which convinced me to stay another night if I didn’t feel 100 happy and confident with the way I was feeding and feeling. I have been told that I will have to have my next baby at RPA and I even though this was mostly a good experience I haven’t decided if we will go private or not.
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I have had 3 babies. All Caesars- but not by choice I might add.
My first son was born in a public hospital in 1992. They were very keen for me to leave on day 4, even though I had complained of a great deal of pain at the incision site. 2 days after coming home, my incision opened up and was seeping pus. it turned out that I had picked up a golden staph infection in the wound during my hospital stay.
My daughter born 6 years later in a private hospital was thankfully complication free, but again I was home on the 4th day.
2 years on, I had my second son, again in private hospital. Again I was sent home on day 4. I went to school with Caroline Anderson who only 3 months prior had died from complications after a Caesarian performed in the same hospital, with the same anesthetist . I was aware of this, and while on the operating theater expressed my concerns, especially with my past history with Golden Staph.
On day two, my lower back became extremely painful and swollen just near the site where they insert the epidural needle. A nurse who had cared for me had also cared for Caroline, and she told me off the record to demand that they remove the epidural and to take oral pain killers instead. I did this.
The pain continued, and I was given heat packs. I was still sent home on day 4. I picked up my eldest from school that afternoon and bumped into a mother who is a nurse. She told me I looked awful. She said that should I start getting headaches, that I should go straight back to hospital as that indicates that the infection had probably travelled up my spine to my brain. By the following night I had a headache like I’d never experienced before
On day 6 I was re- admitted with my newborn (so I could continue breastfeeding) and put on massive intraveneous dose of penicillin. My second stay lasted a week. I was on oral penicillin for another 3 weeks after coming home until I became allergic to it due to having so much of it.
My point is, no body knows your body as well as you. Don’t be pushed out of hospital if you don’t feel ready to go home. but if you have support of family and feel confident with the baby, then get the hell outta there before you get an infection. Germs don’t discriminate between public or private.
Trust your instincts.
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I’m a paediatric doctor in a public hospital, and one of my daily jobs is to examine new babies and complete the blue book (in NSW; different colour in other states) before they go home. I’ve had SO many new mums crying to me because the Nurse Unit Manager has told them that it’s time to go, due to pressure for beds. Many mums can’t wait to get home (and fair enough), but many more crave the support network and the opportunity to practice their skills, get some rest, and get 3 meals a day.
From a Paeds point of view, we’d like to keep all babies until at least 48 hours – after that point, the holes in the heart should have closed, and we can detect whether a baby has a persistent heart murmur that may require attention. Any baby we examine prior to 48 hours needs to be re-reviewed by their GP within a week (the heart, particularly), instead of waiting for a 6-8 week check-up. Many mums don’t know about this little caveat, and I’m sure many of these babies don’t end up seeing a GP until they need their 2-month immunisations. We can only recommend it and leave it up to the families.
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I think it depends entirely on your circumstances, hospital and support networks.
I gave birth to both my girls in a VERY busy public hospital, made famous by a TV show of the same name. For bub number 1, I stayed 4 nights following her birth (5 including the night in the labour ward). I was lucky enough to have a private room (despite being a public patient) and my husband could stay with me. I had quite a lot of trouble establishing feeding, and a very nasty tear that needed to heal a bit so that I wasn’t going home with very little continence. This was longer than their standard stay for first babies, but I needed the extra time.
Second time around the birth was much easier, as was establishing feeding. I was put in a shared room, and wanted to get home ASAP. I spent 2 nights in, and was driven crazy by the buzzers and busyness of the ward. Additionally, it was gut-wrenching to say goodbye to my three year old each night: she wanted to stay with me or for me to come home too and was very distraught. The only advantage of the second night in, from my perspective, was that the worst of the bleeding was over after that night and there was less of a chance of blood on my sheets at home. I was home less than 48 hours after daughter2′s birth on an early discharge program (no ‘bribes’ from this underfunded hospital, just a midwife visit for the next 2 days).
If we go for a third and everything goes well, I imagine that I would only spend 1 night (depending on time of birth). My husband was very supportive and I didn’t have to lift a finger for a week when I came home, and we kept visitors away so we could bond as a family of 4.
Perhaps if I was in a comfortable private hospital it may be different, but with nasty hospital food and hideous coffee, constant buzzers and interruptions, home is a far better place to bond with my baby and get some rest
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I stayed 2 nights and then asked to go home. Canberra has a good mid call program where a mid wife visits you each day for 10 days or something.
If the hospitals are running short on beds, why not integrate home births to the system? At least the overheads would be cheaper!
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Many mother’s cope very well with early discharge!
Blame the government !for not catering (supplying beds) to the increase of births ! encouraged by the parenting bonus(supply and demand) and building hospitals with reduced maternity beds.
Allowing council approval of multi-density buildings for already over populated suburbs,where the hospitals are unable to meet the communities demand for services..
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I stayed as long as possible- pretty much was told ‘it’s time to go’ after 7 nights post caeser birth and the second time, I requested to extend beyond the usual 5 days post caeser birth and stayed an extra night. I was told as a private patient, I could stay as long as l liked. So I did. The hot meals, assistance with baby whenever I needed, opportunity to rest/sleep whenever baby did, meant a lot to me.
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I was in a wonderful hospital with lovely nurses…there was no pressure to leave, they left it entirely up to me. i had a private room and there was a single sofa bed chair in there and my husband was told he could stay as often as he wanted. i lost quite a bit of blood during my c-sect and was so out of it afterwards, obviously the surgery alone meant i wouldnt be going home same day. My baby boy wouldnt latch on to feed properly the first couple of days, he would fall asleep as soon as he started and i just felt completely lost with what to do, so i was encouraged to stay until i felt more confident with feeding.
throughout my whole pregnancy i thought i would be desperate to leave the hospital but i was totally unprepared for how i would feel emotionally afterwards, i had my baby on tuesday and left on friday afternoon…i felt like i was leaving my safety net behind and sat in the back of car next to my tiny bub and cried all the way home, my poor hubby didnt know what to do with me but to take me through maccas drivethru for a cheeseburger!!!
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I left hospital 6 hours after the birth of my first and 5 hours after the birth of my second child. I was fortunate that (a) my labours were short, and thanks to Calmbirth, relatively painless (b) I was offered daily visits from a midwife every day for 5 days following and (c) I preferred to learn how to look after my babies in my own home rather than learning in the hospital and forgetting it all with the change of scenery coming home. I was also fortunate that I continued my pre-schooler in daycare part-time while on maternity leave so I had the precious time to bond with my new baby.
Overall I wasn’t comfortable being in hospital and much preferred those first days at home with thanks to the support from husband. That way I wasn’t using scarce hospital resources unnecessarily either. Apparently the days following the birth of my second child the hospital was redirecting labouring mothers to other hospitals because there were no available beds.
Every birthing experience is different for every mother and I’m pleased in general we have the option to stay or go.
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Golly I thank God that I wasn’t offered the chance to go home with my first. Given my general cluelessness with first baby and a desire to please i probably would have said,’”oh, ok” and been sent on my way!
Thankfully both times there hasn’t been a mention of going home early. First bub (public hospital,’apparently baby boom time) I was in for 5 days and even really got an extra day as the day bubs was born was counted as day 0. He was born at 12.15am so day 0 was nearly 24 hours!
Bub two (private) was 7 days, 5 post Caesar then a couple more due to some complications for bub.
I seriously loved being in hospital. The chance to lie back and have everyone take care of menwas just bliss. I had lovely midwives who were so supportive both times.
Our baby making days are over but every now and then I contemplate another and the thought of those hospital days is lovely
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I feel so fortunate to have been made to feel welcome to stay as long as I wanted or needed in our lovely, small, country hospital! My first birth was a c/ section after 20 hours of labour, and with the feeding problems we encountered I ended up staying for 9 days! I can’t imagine being “encouraged” to go home in those first few days and having to deal with “baby-blues”, learning to breastfeed as well as recovering from surgery without having midwives on hand to offer assistance. (especially with your first baby when there is so much to learn!)
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I arrived in hospital at 4am, gave birth at 5.15am and my husband and I were home to see my kids off to school at 8.45am via my favourite bakery for a bacon and egg roll as I was starving!! A disclaimer though, I am a midwife and knew what to expect afterwards, and I wouldnt recommend this to all mums and especially not primips (first timers) but if the birth is straight foward and there is no tears, stiches, feeding is established etc, there is no reason why you cant leave the same day, we come for a home visit for 3-4 days afterwards. Having said that if someone is really keen on staying they are well within their rights and I certainly wont insist on them leaving.
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Reading some of these comments, I feel so lucky! I stayed for 5 days in a double bed with my husband! It was the smoothest transition into motherhood that I could’ve dreamed of! I left the hospital feeling confident and had settled into my mum role… If I left the day or day after I gave birth, I would’ve felt unconfident and lost! Norwest hospital is the best!!
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I found the public hospital I birthed my daughter in 3 years ago the most unrelaxing, unsupportive place. Make your own tea, change your own bed sheets, change rooms because another women needs those stirrups now, holed up in a room with 4 other women and babies, having a different nurse every 2 hours give me more conflicting feeding advice – get me the hell out of there!!! 12 hours after my catheter was clear I was gone. Was I ready? Hell no!!! I think it is a absolute rip off not to get supported and cared for properly after the absolute physical event women do when birthing.
This baby to be born any day now will be a homebirth. I have created my own support, my own meals on wheels, daily visits from midwife and some peace and quiet hopefully after the birth instead of a cacophony of mobiles, TV and other crying babies….
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You know what, some women need to stay in longer than others. There is no “right” amount of time, all births/women/babies/situations are different. I think there are really valid points to staying in for a while and going home early.
Personally, I had a C-section with my son 18 months ago after he went into distress. I had originally planned on going home ASAP after the birth. I was in for a little under 48 hours, i asked to go home early. I really felt well & confident enough to go plus was looking forward to being at home as a family. I feel this was a benefit for me as I still received approx 2/3 home Midwife visits. I really feel this was agood thing as once home there were things I realised they didnt quite cover in hospital and was glad that I had the opportunity to have the Midwife help me in my home setting.
Im due with #2 in 2 months, and will be having a planned C-sec this time around. I dare say I will actually stay in longer this time as I feel at least I can rely on the hospital staff while im recovering. My husband will be looking after our son after I have the baby so at least I can lean on the hospital staff for extra help while im in the early days post op.
As I said before, I really think there is no right amount of time. Some women cope well going home after 4 hours, some need 5-10 days. Its individual. I cant say I blame the hospital staff for offering women the opportunity to go home early, and at the end of the day, they would NEVER really kick you out if you were’nt ready.
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The Wollongong public hospital was terrible I would have loved to go home ASAP but got stuck due to strep then no Dr to discharge us.
We didn’t have a real room as the ran out. No table, no chair, no T.V.
I had to get out of bed the next day feeling weak and dizzy due to very low loos pressure and change my own sheets and line up for food.
They ran out of sheets and towels and one time after queuing while faint and dizzy for food I had a shower and came back to my food had been taken away.
It was a very unpleasant start to my second babies life. I had to bring my own pillow in and a fold up table from home to eat off and sit my things. And yet they wouldn’t let me go home. I should have just left anyway- at least zi had support at home.
My first baby was better at Nowra which was nicer and even though I shared a room I enjoyed sharing those first moments of parenthood with them.
I wa annoyed after my first baby I had a long labour and an epidural and the next morning while naked in bed covered in blood in an uncurtained room My baby woke but I could reach her so I buzzed. The midwife yelled at me as I had only gave birth and I am not sick. apparently I was ment to jump out of bed naked dripping blood and get her. Nice.
A bit more kindness and support would make those first few days easier.
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I was pushed out the door because I didn’t know any better the same day I gave birth after a traumatic 28 hour labour that ended at 2:30 am. This was a disaster as it lead to an immediate onset of PND and I didn’t sleep at all for two weeks afterwards. It has taken me almost two years to recover. New Mums are so vulnerable, no-one should be suggesting anything to them that isn’t in their best interest, irrespective of how busy the hospital is.
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My first daughter was jaundiced and I;d had a long difficult labour, so we had to stay in hospital for 5 days, and I absolutely hated it as even though I was extremely lucky and had a private room to share with my husband, there was little privacy. I was constantly being woken up by nurses for examinations, unwanted visitors, blah blah blah….Daughter #2 was born at home, so no hospital stay for us. It was nice to be in my own bed right after the birth but hard as my husband had to go straight back to work, so even though I had my parents around to help a bit, I still had to take care of 1st daughter, pack her lunch in the morning, drive her to school, deal with her tantrums…The birth had been relatively “easy” but I was still very sore and feeling rough. I guess because the birth had been viewed as straightforward, everyone around me was expecting me to just get up and get on with it right after baby was born. Having said that, it was infinitely better than having to be in hospital. Anyway, I think the postpartum time is a time for mummy and baby to bond and rest, whether in hospital or at home. The mother should be able to choose.
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I had my second daughter at 8pm and was out mid morning the next day. I couldn’t wait to get home to my own environment. Mind you, I was in a public hospital — we had just moved from the UK and had no private health insurance then — and the midwifes did tell me they thought I was going home too soon. But I felt great (well, you know, considering) and I missed my older daugher. And I knew my husband’s food was better than the hospitals!
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I had my baby at home 4 months ago with an independent midwife, best money I ever spent. He was born in the birth pool in the living room and him and I didn’t leave the house for a week. It was wonderful. I didn’t want to leave my two year old daughter and we all got to bond together as a family. I got 6 weeks of postnatal visits at home and my midwife was contactable by mobile whenever I needed. Being supported with breast feeding etc in the comfort of your own home is so much better. I can’t recommend it highly enough!
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I too believe the longer the better. For me it was one baby and 7 days after a c section, but ten days hospital bed rest before hand, so 17 days all up. It was a private hospital and the midwifes were all lovely (except one…). I know now that I would not have known how to breastfeed if I had gone home earlier. My baby was 2kg and 4 weeks early – the midwifes helped me express colostrum before the birth and came in to help me feed every four hours on the clock – it surprised me each time. I felt very comfortable being there. There was also some drama following the c section: massive clots and a near haemorrhage, so being in a hospital made me feel safe.
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It’s a tricky one, it depends on how you feel yourself and how confident you are to actually leave the hospital with that tiny person! I had 3 cesareans with my 3 boys, each was a very different delivery and level of confidence. If you aren’t ready to leave, say so if you are go. After all we know what’s best for ourselves.
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There is no way in chocolate I would have gone home any sooner than I did (6days). Thanks to having a c-section, I would have had to stay the minimum 3 days regardless, but had I gone home on day 3, then I would have struggled when my milk came in on day 4.
I was a first time mum, trying to recover from a c-section as well as having SPD (complications with the pelvic bone) when my F-cups blew straight up to LITERALLY basketballs. Seriously – hubby thought his wife had been replaced by a very cranky Page-3 model! I don’t even want to estimate what cup-size I was.
Needless to say, with this sort of weight on my chest, a 6in incision across my tummy and a crooked pelvic bone – dealing a 8lb newborn by myself was COMPLETELY beyond me.
That said, my sister was discharged 12hrs after giving birth and managed fine.
Point is – it depends on the individual woman. It depends on the baby. You can’t set one time-period for everyone because everyone is different.
IMHO
http://thefridgedoorblog.com
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In 2010, I had my second child in a private hospital as I would not go back to the public hospital where I live after the disgraceful care I recieved after my first child. They told me I would be staying about 5 days, which sounded great, then on my third night I was told “we are understaffed tonight, if you need help don’t bother ringing the bell we won’t be able to get to you” The next morning I told them I was going home that day, they tried to convince me to stay but if I was doing everything myself I may as well be at home, at least my husband would help me!
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I really like the idea of going home early. Baby 1 & 2 I had to stay 2 days due to Strep b but I really did want to go home ASAP. Sharing a room and dealing with their visitors and lack of sleep through the night with all the nurses moving about answering buzzer calls, I would much rather be at home. Due any day with baby 3 and hoping to come home as soon as I am ready – maybe after 4 hours who knows – depends on the mother and new mums certainly shouldn’t be strongly encouraged to go home.
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“Should” is a word that needs to be eliminated from this discussion…in fact most discussions on birth, parenting, etc.
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I have had two hospital experiences in the last 2 years. One private for cancer surgery, and one public for my little boy. The private hospital I went to was wonderful – I was there for 6 days and loved that the nurses always had time for a chat, happy to get me food or drink or more drugs, having a private room with river views (!!) etc. I was scared about going home but happy too – I’m a real home body! With my second bub 7/ I had a dream and fast labour, no complications, no nothing. I have/had serious PND, but that wasn’t picked up at the time (my fault – if you don’t tell anyone no one knows!). I HATED being in a shared room, listening to the other baby cry, worrying about bleeding all over the shared bathroom/keeping my light on/waking up next door. The nurses were lovely but VERY busy – you’d be waiting 40+ minutes to get one. The food was crap (sorry, FWP I know but I was feeding a hungry boy!) and when I asked for more I was told that the cafeteria was on the next floor. I would have gone home that day if I could, but bub had jaundice and we had to stay 5 days. I’m not in anyway criticizing the staff or the quality or care at the hospital, it was the little stuff that made it difficult. Like being hungry!
Come to think of it, this has nothing to do with the story. So I guess I should add that I think mothers should be encouraged to stay until breastfeeding is settled, which is at LEAST 3 days. If Australia is serious about increasing breastfeeding they need to be serious about support.
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Last paragraph, totally agree.
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I left after 5 hours. The only reason I didn’t leave sooner was because I gave birth in the middle on the night. My birth was a dream!
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The short answer is different babies, labours and women require different levels of support.
With me it was 5 days after Pumpernickel, 12 hours after Buster. After a 42 hour marathon labour with multiple levels of intervention I needed the help of hospital with my first bub and on day three I very politely and firmly told the midwives I wasn’t ready to go home and needed more help with breastfeeding, and my daughter was turning a delightful fake tan shade of orange. With Buster I wanted to go home at 8 hours. He breastfed all night, I was exhausted and wanted to be in my own house where only my baby woke me up. With both bubs I received daily home visits from midwives till day 10 or so.
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First baby – public hospital. Uncomplicated pregnancy and birth. Stayed three nights with a hungry hungry hippo of a boy waking up my roomate every hour (her baby was in special care and not waking her up at all). I felt uncomfortable, anxious about the intrusion on the woman sharing my room, my partner wasn’t there, the midwives were helpful but really busy.
Second baby (and by now an expert!) – had my own midwife throughout pregnancy, delivered the baby, was home 6 hours later. Slept (soundly!) in my own bed, partner helped with everything at all hours (or at least sympathised with the sometimes neverending need to feed). I felt completely comfortable with all of it. MY midwife visited me at home every day for the first five days.
I would recommend the early departure to anyone who was comfortable with doing it. Perhaps not first baby but second and subsequent, it definitely worked for me.
Some people looked at me like I was either insane or a super hero. I doubt I’m either of those things (my kids may disagree occasionally), just did the right thing for me and my family.
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If a woman is happy and comfortable to go home early thats fabulous for her to have this opportunity. But I also think the push for women to go home super early in busy public hospitals can really impact on a womans ability to breastfeed. I know if I had to go home quickly after my first baby I would never have breastfed her for as long as I did. As it was I was in hospital for 7 nights and had lactation consultants on hand to help me give it the best chance possible as it wasnt something that happened easily. So if I was left to work it all out at home I wouldnt have had to confidence to keep going.
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It is difficult as often people feel ok quickly but problems arise later. My friend had her third baby the same morning I had my first.
She left voluntarily that evening only to return after bleeding heavily overnight and the baby developed hypothermia.
I think it is the being persuaded to leave early that is wrong. The hospital we use offers free nappies, pads etc as well as midwife visits for a week. Essentially it’s freeing up a bed. Some mums are desperate to get home but many actually need the rest & no housework environment to really adjust to a new baby.
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I stayed in as long as I could after both my births (c-sections) – 8days for the 1st (a few complications), and 5days the 2nd.
The hospital tried to get me to leave early but i flat out refused.
For the 1st one I didn’t want to leave because she was prem and I knew I would have to leave her there in hospital and go home alone! + with all the expressing it was easier just being there!
for the 2nd it was totally different – I didn’t want to leave because this was the only time I got to have a break – time to sleep, relax, rejuvinate, no cooking or cleaning, and have some ‘me’ time.
When all your family is in a different country and you have no support systems around you to turn to for help, this is the one time you can rest!
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I am a midwife and I work in a private hospital. We too like many other hospitals offer an early discharge package. One of which includes a shopping voucher for quite a decent amount of money.
New mothers are not rushed out nor obliged to take the offer but let me tell you being offered a chadstone voucher plus 100 nappies does make people consider it carefully.
In the majority of women there is no indication for new mothers to stay the 5 days other than the reason that this is what is offered to them. I think we are indulging many mothers and by keeping them longer in hospital and we are only indulging them and delaying their reality.
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Wow. I’m trying hard not to be personal but I am really uncomfortable with that attitude. I think the fact that you ARE a new mother, may have never held a baby before, don’t know how to breastfeed, are terrified of hurting baby, have just been through LABOUR and are operating on two hours of sleep at a time are all VERY good reasons to stay the extra days!
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You must be joking!
A shopping voucher for quite a decent amount of money is no comfort to a sore, exhausted woman who has not been given enough time to recover from birth.
Birth is not always easy, despite the best intentions of mothers and staff, breastfeeding is not easy to establish alone at home,
It is disappointing to hear these ideas (indulging many mothers and delaying their reality) from a professional who is helping women through the most important experience in most of their lives.
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Im also a midwife and feel that certainly for a first baby, rushing mothers out the door ASAP is not helpful for many women to establish breastfeeding. While I’ve worked in public hospitals, where bed pressure can be greater, sometimes we were encouraged to ask people if they wanted early discharge because of it. There was no “bribe” forthcoming either…..
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What’s wrong with indulging mums and delaying their reality anyway?
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Ex-fucking-actly!!
If there is ever a time in life to indulge in a bit of molly coddling, this is it and I intend to milk it for every second I can in April when I have my second child. I am going to a private hospital this time so I want all of the indulgence I have paid for thank you very much. With my first child I was too scared to speak up to bitchy midwives with a bad attitude but watch out this time, you WILL get told.
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Glad you weren’t on my ward! I left early but your tone is not showing much empathy. We are all different and have different experiences. You may be able to read a woman’s physical condition but her emotional state is not on the chart!
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To cut a long story short, my daughter was born suddenly at 30 weeks. After she was born, they put me in the maternity ward right near the nursery. I could hear the babies and it was sad to walk past on the way to see my premmie. Sadder still (and so very very wrong) was that they put a woman who had delivered a stillborn in the room next to mine! She didn’t come out at all, understandably.
I was told I had to go home after 3 days as I didn’t have private health insurance. I bawled my eyes out on the way home. From there I visited every day (an hour trip each way). I wasn’t eligible to stay at Ronald McDonald House as I didn’t live far enough away. This went on for a month, then another month stay at my local hospital. On coming home day, I roomed in overnight with my daughter and woke up with mastitis! They still sent me home. (She was 4pound4). All this with a 3yo toddler. Oh boy! 17 years ago now. I think the maternity wards should go back to a 5 day stay. You need it, your milk comes in on day 3 and often baby blues. You need help with that.
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wow, that sounds pretty bad…congrats for getting through it all!
I was in the public system, fairly regular vaginal birth with epidural. I agree about the eerie feeling in maternity wards (public), separated by only a curtain and enclosed in this tiny space with timed visits…. a bit depressing and un-natural. I had a catheter after birth due to stitches. I was encouraged to stay at my hospital by the staff (Royal Brisbane Women’s) but silly me declined, insisted to get the catheter out and went home after one night in hospital only. I loved being home but I had issues with breastfeeding and was in agony with my stitches whenever i had to go to the toilet (actually was in agony breastfeeding and pumping too). I wished I could have stayed and feel silly to have given up the opportunity when I was lucky to be given it in the first place. I did manage to breastfeed in the end (with help from formula) so things turned out great but next baby, I will be staying in hospital!
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Thanks Charlie’s Mama. You too. WOW! you’ve been through the mill too. I understand the wanting to go home part though, I really do. For many of us, birth is traumatic! and we want our loved ones around and the comfort of our homes, not a sterile environment, and oh! all those crying babies in the nursery! (no-one warned me how upsetting that would be). I’m glad things turned out ok for you, they did for me too, but with a ton of persistence on my part to make it work, and also I eventually sought some support, there’s a lot out there now. Wishing you all the best with Charlie, and future bubs! ~lily
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I agree. I actually think there’s a bit of pressure for mums to go home early and the ability to do so is worn like a badge of honour by many. I’ve been through the private system twice and both times I was given a choice of three or four days. I chose four both times. Aside from having direct access to midwives should there be any questions, concerns or complications, I found it to be a really great bonding time for myself, my husband and my baby…I time to focus on just each other, with all our meals cooked for us and no housework to do…before we got back to normal life and things go crazy again!
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I was home 24 hours after my 2nd child in 1989 and 12 hours after my 3rd child in 1994. A maternal and child nurse visited me at home every day for a week. I loved it and had no problems whatsoever.
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I had my 3 uncomplicated natural births privately and the same OB for all. I was never one for rushing home right after giving birth – I stayed 6 days for all of them. It was a lovely bonding time, with them, not having to worry about cooking or cleaning, or all the other distractions.
My Mother-in-Law (Italian Catholic) deliberately chose a public hospital for the birth of her fourth child. She had a vaginal birth, then, once the baby was born, having convinced the OB, she had her tubes tied – full surgical incision back then (1971). She knew that if she didn’t get it done then, she’d never get it done. A week in hospital, then back home to care for 3 small children, baby, husband, and grandfather, while recoving from the vaginal birth AND sterilization.
She said it was the worst few months of her life.
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your poor MIL!
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I ended up staying 9 days (8 nights) in hospital due to delivery complications – 2 of those I spent in ICU. By the time I got out it felt like I’d been there a year! But looking back I am extremely grateful for the time I had in there, and would have been mortified to be ‘rushed’ or pushed out. I’m all for staying and taking advantage of the support and nurturing on offer, especially with that crucial process of breastfeeding – which can seem like it’s working, and then a few hours later isn’t.
I’m going public not private this time around so we’ll see how long they’ll “let” me stay, but if it’s up to me, I’ll be taking full advantage of the maximum stay! Going it alone straight away without the helpful nurses on call at the push of a button? No way jose. Terrifying!
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My 2 births were both quite different, My first was 20 hours and resulted in an emergency C-section. My second was 11 hours and completely natural.
I stayed in hospital for 3 days for my first, established breast feeding and got to know my little girl. My second I stayed for 4 days and was encouraged to stay as long as I wanted by my midwives. They knew I had a 2 year old at home and made sure I was feeding well and rested before coming home to chaos! This was all in a public hospital and I had such a lovely time being supported by all the staff that it would have been nice to stay longer!
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Blimey .. I was in hospital for 10 days (mind you, this was 1974), Royal North Shore in Sydney, then spent another week in a Tresillian home, which looked after you while you looked (tried to) after your baby.
Looxury !
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When I first became pregnant I asked my Mum what giving birth was like. Her response: “It’s the hardest pain to bear, and the easiest to forget”. That about sums it up on the pain front, no truer words have been spoken. I have 3 grown children, as some of you would already be aware from previous comments. I was horrified when I first found out that hospitals were pushing women out the door quicker than you can order a Big Mac at McDonalds. When I had my children, the average stay in hospital was 4 – 5 days – with very good reason. My first 2 births were long, not less than 23 hours. My third was a little different in that I was 2 weeks overdue and had to be induced. Of course, for most of us, the initial euphoria of giving birth stays with you for days afterwards and gradually evolving to the contented happiness of a new mum. So happy are we cradling the new bub in our arms that we think, “yep, I’m ready to get out of here now”. The reality is, you are not. I really don’t care for the hospital agenda of “freeing up beds”. That, in itself is a dangerous practice in my opinion. Having said that, I know it is not the fault of nursing staff, this business of “freeing up beds”, it is cost cutting at its worst. Adding to that is the fact that nursing staff these days do not have the time, nor do they have the training, for giving you, the new mum, the TLC that you should have. No, unfortunately for the patient, the priority of nursing staff these days lies in ensuring that their time is better spent on paperwork. Don’t take it personally, that is to satisfy the bean counters. Giving birth, no matter how well you sailed through your pregnancy, no matter how quick the birth was, is one of the most exhausting experiences in a woman’s life – probably, at that time, more exhausting than trekking The Himalayas. For the 9 months prior to the birth, your energy levels have been slowly eroded because Bub has been relying on your body to feed and nourish him or her, so that him or her in turn has the strength also to travel from you to the waiting world. This is not a trip that will have you feeling tip top in 4 hours and able to take on the world, along with Bub in arms, believe me and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sometimes it’s the little things that can send you into a spin once you are at home, alone, with Bub. For me, it was bathing my babies – every time. For no apparent reason, I would dissolve into tears when about to put my baby into the bath and end up uncontrollably sobbing. Luckily for me, Mum was with me when this happened with the first baby and she ensured that she was with me at these crucial times for my other babies. She would take the baby, bath it and dress it. Then I would be ok. This would last for about 2 weeks after the birth of each child. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it just happened. I’m not saying other mums react in the same way but I am saying there are little things that take you by surprise. It does not matter if you have been in labour for 4 hours, or in some cases, 4 days, either way, you definitely have not had enough postnatal rest and care, which I might add, is definitely your due. When I had my third baby, and also for no reason, on the day after the birth I became overwhelmed with sadness and crying. At that time, I was diagnosed as having “the baby blues”. Now I guess it’s called post natal depression. Fortunately for me, the nursing staff were on to it right away. It lasted about 3 days only, after which time I was fine. These days, I fear that pushing new mums out the door before they are ready is one reason that contributes to an increased number of mums being diagnosed with PND. Also, fortunately for me, I was lucky enough to have my doctors at the birth of all of my babies. My first 2 were delivered by my wonderful GPs and my third by an absolutely wonderful obstetrician. Each one of them turned up at the hospital in time, treated me as if I was special and that I was the only patient that they cared about at that time. All of this went to making the arrival of my own babies that little bit more special – and safe. For all of these reasons I have set out here, I will be forever grateful because my memories of childbirth have always been one of positive experiences – as they should be, even if you choose to have a midwife instead of a doctor to deliver as I did. Take my advice, stay in hospital for at least 4 – 5 days if for no other reason than to get some rest because you deserve it and because you will be on a downhill run – away from the sleep-in zone – once you and bub get home.
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I have to disagree with your comment about training of nursing staff in maternity units. If they are indeed nurses, they aren’t trained enough, but if they’re midwives they most certainly are and that’s who mostly staffs maternity units. I do agree that there is too much paperwork however, but some of it is necessary and very important in maternity.
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Six days with my first. Scheduled section, private hospital, significant breastfeeding problems. If I hadn’t stayed that long there is no way I would have fed Red Rocket for a year. I had the midwives come every single feed to help me with attachment – a daily visit would never have cut the mustard. I was totally confident with the feeding when I went home and because of her weight loss I still had the community midwife come out for the following four days and we worked on the feeding.
This time it was four days. I had the same breastfeeding problems but found being a second time mum that the midwives were way less inclined to assist me. I can’t be the only mum with a 4 year gap who could no longer remember the difference between a football hold and a comp feed.
There is definitely something to be said for the difference in staying for longer in a private room with all the la-di-da facilities. My sister had her fella the same day as I did this time in the big tertiary children’s hospital and stayed 5 days, but didn’t get much rest in her shared room of three.
I think its fine when people go home as long as its a genuine choice. The support services in SA (compared to VIC) are woeful (day 12, still waiting for my call from the community nurse to ‘check on me’ which is supposed to happen the day of discharge!). If they are really serious about wanting to increase breastfeeding rates then pressuring people to leave and providing nil or minimal support when they do is not going to produce that.
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If reading these comments shows anything, it is that each woman, for every birth, has differing needs, which should be listened to and acted on by the medical professionals, regardless of any ‘one size fits all’ policy.
but that would be too sensible, wouldn’t it?
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