"It makes me sick." Why we need to stop shaming the 'perfect' mum.

I've got beef with something I’ve unexpectedly stumbled across as a new parent.

I've noticed it in articles, ads, social media, and, more importantly, friends and family. 

Everyone seems to enjoy poking fun at the 'perfect' parent. Her house is always tidy. Her kids are well-groomed. She has healthy snacks packed in her bag. They get time at the park every day and go on balanced play dates. She's a part of the PTA. The cliche list goes on.

Watch: The two types of parents when it comes to the school list. Post continues below video.

Video via Mamamia.

Everyone loves jabbing jokes at this type of mum because "C'mon, let's be real, nobody's perfect." And of course, that's true. I get it. It's annoying to see someone like that because, like, where do they find the time? Or maybe it's annoying that their husband is oh so helpful, or maybe she doesn't work - the luxury.

My beef is that I think this is unfair. I can understand where it’s coming from, but it unsettles me. I don't believe any good, loving parent should be shamed for their methods.


I grew up in an extremely abusive home. I had five younger siblings going through it all right behind me. Do you want to know what my parents were never the victim of? Any kind of ridicule. They were never joked about, laughed at, criticised, or shamed. People I knew saw red flags left and right and chose to look the other way because it was uncomfortable to speak up.

On the flip side, we have these mums that are working just a little too hard for everybody's comfort, and we give them hell. We talk behind their backs to make ourselves feel better.

I am now one of these mums, and everywhere I turn, somebody is laughing about me wanting to feed my kids organic food or enrol them in extra educational activities.

I hear the phrase 'they're FINE' a lot, and I know that. I want to try my very best to give them the best. How am I in the hot seat here? I truly believe people like making fun of those mums to make themselves feel better - and shame on us.

No, of course, you don't have to have it all together. But if we are going to talk about someone, let's direct it towards parents who deserve the blame. I sure as hell wish somebody had the guts to speak up when I was still a little girl.

When things were going wrong. 

Instead of saving their ridicule for the parents who are doing their best.

This post originally appeared on Modern Parent and has been republished here with full permission. 

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