'I'm a millennial mum. These are the differences I've noticed between Gen X and millennial parents.'

I’m in my mid-thirties and my eldest child is in primary school. I’m part of the millennial generation. Advances in IVF technology, changing priorities to focus on career and travel, and an increased lifespan have allowed women to choose to have children later in life.

As a result, there is a significant overlap of millennial and Gen X parents raising their kids of the same age together. I’ve noticed the age range of parents in my cohort is wider than previous generations, with some in their late 20s and others closer to their 50s. Along the way, I've noticed some differences between the two generations of parents.

But before we get into it, I want to emphasise that these are merely trends and behaviours that I’ve observed from my own little bubble. I’m certain there are exceptions and I may be completely off base.

While you're here watch the two types of parents. Post continues after video.

Here are some differences I’ve noticed between the two generations of parents.

Gen X parents prefer to get and give advice about parenting.

I’m the type who will hear my child cough and immediately Google the crap out of it. Or if I’m struggling with something like tantrums, I’ll look up some well-respected parenting sites that base their content on the latest child psychology research studies to find a solution.

When a fellow parent is complaining about their child’s behaviour, I don’t give advice or share stories about how I dealt with it myself unless I’m being asked. I encourage them to seek advice from experts and base their decisions on what is right for their situation.

However, I’ve found that Gen X parents love to ask for the opinions of other parents, friends and family members on how to deal with parenting issues. They also enjoy doling out advice to fellow parents. It’s their way of connecting and finding common ground.

Millennials aren’t into over scheduling their kids.

Perhaps this stems from my own over scheduled childhood that was riddled with perfectionism, but I try not to put my kids into too many activities during the week. I worry that if I fill every minute of my kids' day with organised activities, it may negatively affect their mental and emotional wellbeing as it did to me.

We waited until our daughter was in kindergarten before enrolling her in swimming, skating, dance, art, gymnastics and all that jazz. She’s in at most two to three activities per term. Our toddler son is completely unscheduled. He hasn’t taken a lesson yet. From gatherings with family and friends and impromptu beach days to long walks to the cafe to grab a hot chocolate, we usually have free weekends to do anything we want.

I’ve noticed that Gen X parents tend to scurry from one activity to another after work and on the weekends. It’s difficult to schedule playdates with them because they’re busy with their kid’s schedules. When my children were babies, I would hear mums talk about how they’d already signed up their barely walking one-year-old for swimming, ballet, gymnastics, soccer, and music lessons.

Gen X parents are more involved in their kid’s school.

It’s not that I don’t believe school plays an important role in my child’s growth and development. Rather, I believe learning happens just as much outside the school walls as it does inside them. I’ll read the important school emails, complete the permission forms on time, and contribute to fundraisers financially. However, I’m not an active member of the parent advisory council nor am I highly interested in how the curriculum is developed. I’ll attend parent-teacher conferences but I’m not too concerned about my children’s academic performance.

However, I’ve observed Gen X are more involved in the school. They will be the ones who request to have longer parent-teacher conferences and will volunteer to organise school events.

Listen to This Glorious Mess. On this episode, we kick off our series on parenting styles talking to parenting educator and speaker Lael Stone about 'Aware Parenting'. Post continues below.

Millennials prioritise work-life balance.

There's a common trope that millennials are lazy. However, I absolutely disagree. I value my work time as much as I do my downtime. I believe rest is crucial to being productive. I’d rather fit fewer things in my day than over-promise and under-deliver. I’m less concerned about climbing the corporate ladder, getting raises and promotions, or working overtime. I will not put my work above my mental health and family life. Once I’m off, I’m off. The phone is off, the emails can wait, and I’m focused on my life outside of work.

I’ve noticed that Gen X parents never really check out. They will send emails at 9pm and glorify taking on more projects and responsibilities. They view being called a workaholic as a compliment. They also get a lot done at home. They’re making cookies for the school bake sale and doing laundry at 10pm. I honestly don’t know how they do it but it’s definitely not my preferred way of living.

I don’t believe one generation is doing better than another. Ultimately, parenting is about loving our children unconditionally and instilling values that we believe are right for our kids. And one of those values we can all agree on is to accept diversity by mutually respecting other people’s differences and backgrounds.

Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP is an author, wife and mum of two. She writes stories to empower individuals to talk about their feelings despite growing up in a culture that hid them. You can find more from Katharine on her website or podcast or you can follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or YouTube 

Feature Image: Getty.