celebrity

Gwyneth Paltrow is selling an orgasm candle and we have precisely 5 questions.

Oh. No. 

Gwyneth Paltrow and her vagina are... back.

Following the surprise success of her "This Smells Like My Vagina" candle, which sold out within mere hours, the founder of wellness company Goop has introduced a brand-new candle. 

And, yes. It smells like her orgasms. Apparently.

According to the description on Goop's website, the 10.5-ounce candle will cost you $75 and is "made with tart grapefruit, neroli and ripe cassis berries blended with gunpowder tea and Turkish rose absolutes for a scent that’s sexy, surprising and wildly addictive."

...Right. 

The actress casually announced the "This Smells Like My Orgasm" candle on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, proudly showing off the fireworks that are featured on the packaging. 

Watch: Gwyneth Paltrow introduces her new candle on Jimmy Fallon. Post continues below.


Video via NBC.

But please, we have precisely five questions that thus far remain unanswered. 

1. No but, actually. What does an orgasm smell like?

Stop. Think. Smell. 

Can anyone... identify... what an orgasm smells like?

No. You can't. Because we checked the health websites (journalism, etc.) and they confirm the female orgasm "doesn’t appear to have any smell at all."

Excuse us Paltrow! We feel... perplexed. To a profound extent. 

2. Is $75 too much for a candle?

Yes. Especially for an alleged "scent" that up until this point actually has no discernible smell. 

But also... we're not here to judge what a woman will do to her orgasmic senses going. (Sorry.)

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3. To keep with women's statistical experience of orgasms, will Paltrow be including any fake-orgasm smelling candles? 

That's all. That's the question.

4. How do her children feel about smelling her... orgasm?

Just a few minutes prior to introducing Jimmy Fallon to her new orgasm candle, Paltrow's 14-year-old son, Moses, was part of the segment.

Moments later, Paltrow pulled the candle off family living room shelf and that seems — frankly — odd. 

Like, is he... aware... of what his mum's new candle smells like? 

Moses joins the interview with Jimmy Fallon. Image: NBC.

5. Most importantly, why is it not shipping to Australia?

At the moment, Australia is excluded from the possible shipping destination and hey, we would like to smell the orgasm TOO. 

This is an injustice because we're literally known as 'Down Under'. We deserve an orgasm candle more than anyone. 

Hopefully it will reach our shores soon. 

Let's just hope it's not an anti-climax.

As you were!


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