
Oh. No.
Gwyneth Paltrow and her vagina are... back.
Following the surprise success of her "This Smells Like My Vagina" candle, which sold out within mere hours, the founder of wellness company Goop has introduced a brand-new candle.
And, yes. It smells like her orgasms. Apparently.
According to the description on Goop's website, the 10.5-ounce candle will cost you $75 and is "made with tart grapefruit, neroli and ripe cassis berries blended with gunpowder tea and Turkish rose absolutes for a scent that’s sexy, surprising and wildly addictive."
...Right.
The actress casually announced the "This Smells Like My Orgasm" candle on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, proudly showing off the fireworks that are featured on the packaging.
Watch: Gwyneth Paltrow introduces her new candle on Jimmy Fallon. Post continues below.
But please, we have precisely five questions that thus far remain unanswered.
1. No but, actually. What does an orgasm smell like?
Stop. Think. Smell.
Can anyone... identify... what an orgasm smells like?
No. You can't. Because we checked the health websites (journalism, etc.) and they confirm the female orgasm "doesn’t appear to have any smell at all."
Excuse us Paltrow! We feel... perplexed. To a profound extent.
2. Is $75 too much for a candle?
Yes. Especially for an alleged "scent" that up until this point actually has no discernible smell.
But also... we're not here to judge what a woman will do to her orgasmic senses going. (Sorry.)
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