'It felt like I had too much to lose.' Why Olivia Molly Rogers didn't cancel her wedding.

After announcing her separation from her husband earlier in the year, Olivia Molly Rogers has spoken about the relationship breakdown in more detail.

In February, the former Miss Universe Australia appeared on Mamamia's wellbeing podcast, Fill My Cup. And although she was there to discuss friendships, she spoke about romantic relationships and navigating life post-split too.

"I'm actually really good," Rogers told host Allira Potter when asked how she was feeling.

"I feel like this year's going to be a good one – it's off to a good start."

Listen to the episode of Fill My Cup Here. Post continues after audio.

Rogers and her former partner, Justin McKeone, split in October 2022, eight months after their wedding.

"After four and a half years together, Justin and I have come to the difficult decision to separate as a couple," the model said on her Instagram stories at the time. And for many of Rogers' followers, the announcement came as a shock.

On Fill My Cup, host Allira Potter said that breakups – whether platonic or romantic – force us to put ourselves out there more. She asked Rogers if she's found that to be the case.

"Definitely," Rogers responded.

"You can get so comfortable in certain situations – whether that is a relationship with a partner or with certain friends that you've had for years – but they might not actually be serving you.

"I think it is important to always reevaluate your relationships and see if they are bringing what you need; and if they're not, then end it."

"I think there's no shame in getting out of something that isn't serving you anymore," she added.

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McKeone proposed in 2019 while the pair were travelling across Europe. They had been introduced to one another by a mutual acquaintance years earlier.

As someone in the spotlight, the pressure to plan and execute a big Instagram-worthy wedding was on. 

"We ended up with 140 people, which felt like a really good amount," Rogers told Mamamia of her big day. The celebrations included an outdoor ceremony, two dress changes, a choreographed first dance and thousands of flowers.

Read more on this: Olivia Molly Rogers on how she planned the most watched wedding on Instagram.

Now, looking back at her wedding one year on, Rogers reflected on where her head was really at then.

"My wedding was fun. It was a really good day. But I would say it wasn't a good day because of him, it was a good day in spite of him," Rogers told Life Uncut. 

"That's probably going to sound a bit harsh, but we really weren't in a good place at our wedding. I'm sure that's interesting for people to hear because it looked like such a happy day. I genuinely was happy on the day, but that was because I was surrounded by all of my favourite people - and I had put so much time and effort and money into the day.

"I found it really challenging to write my vows, because in the lead up to the wedding we had not been in a good place."

When asked if she had considered cancelling the wedding, she admitted that it was definitely something that she was thinking about.

"I had my doubts along the way. COVID made it hard because we postponed, and in a way, I thought that would give us more time to sort our problems out. Mum and I had conversations where she told me I didn't have to go through with it, but I thought I had made my bed and needed to lie in it."

Rogers also used the pressure of the wedding to distract her from the problems, sharing that she definitely got "caught up in all of it". Then as the wedding crept closer, she had a strong gut feeling that she had "too much to lose" if she cancelled. She was scared of what her nearest and dearest would think, but she was much more afraid of the public commentary that would follow a cancellation.

Obviously, that commentary came later, when Rogers and McKeone separated eight months after their wedding day.

Now that she's in the 'micro-marriage club', she's realised that she was definitely pinning her hopes on her wedding being a catalyst for change. 

"There's something to say about thinking that a marriage is going to be a solution, in a way. I thought about all of these issues that we've had, and thought he's making this commitment to me on that day, so surely from that day onwards, things will improve."

When nothing did after they exchanged vows, she knew fairly quickly that their relationship needed to end.

"There's probably a common denominator within short marriages that whatever you hope is going to change after you say 'I do', when it doesn't you're like, 'Oh, okay'."

Rogers tells the Life Uncut hosts, Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne, that the day she broke up with McKeone she was due to attend a fertility appointment. The couple were planning to have a baby – something she was scared to open up about. 

"I had shared that I'd wanted to have children, but I hadn't shared what we were going through at the time. I was so set on the idea of being a mum. 

"My identity was so caught up with being a wife and trying to be a mum. We were trying to have a baby for around 10 months, maybe a little bit longer. We had been doing fertility treatments up until that day when I made that decision."

Having to halt this journey made the decision to leave her husband much, much harder. She said that she was "grieving" the loss of starting a family.

"I was preparing for that next stage of my life. I will always want to be a mum – and I'm sure one day it will happen. But I guess I came to the realisation that I would be better doing it on my own."

Since their split, Rogers has sold their home and moved into her own apartment. She told Allira on Fill My Cup how this next chapter is somewhat daunting.

"You have to re-navigate that world on your own and figure things out moving forward," she said.

"I've definitely found since I broke up with my partner, I have had to put myself out there a bit more, and it's a bit scary."

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Rogers has been open about her healing journey.

She's told publications how she goes to therapy, poked fun at how the marriage only lasted seven months on Instagram, and spoken about moving into her own place.

"It's a tricky thing to navigate because, obviously, there are two people in a relationship," she told Allira.

"Like, I'm such an open person and I want to share more, but I do also need to set boundaries and protect my ex in a way, I suppose."

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During the podcast episode, Rogers shared a tool she uses when making new friends – something she said she should also uses for partners.

"[Write] down a list of what you look for in a friend and really stick to that," she said.

"I think it's like when you're searching for a romantic partner – which, obviously I need to do this more for my next romantic partner."

"It's funny, I feel like I've always been quite good at choosing friends, I just haven't been that good at choosing partners," she added.

"We're working on that."

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Rogers has since spoken to Adelaide Now about how she's now open to dating.

"I think in my previous relationships, I've had a tendency to sort of put someone else's needs before my own, and push my own feelings aside to make sure that the other person is okay," she told the publication.

The former Miss Universe Australia also shared the things she's doing for her mental health.

"I'm taking good care of myself and exercising, getting fresh air. They're the basic things, but they make such a big difference to how I feel," Rogers said.

"Leaning on my support network, such as family and friends has been huge - particularly in the earlier days of the breakup; and I also have a great psychologist that I talk to regularly."

At the end of her appearance on Fill My Cup, Allira asked Rogers what small mindset changes she recommends people can make to open themselves up to meeting new people.

"Go to therapy," she said. 

"I know that it's expensive, and it's not for everyone, but if you can, or even counselling or something, I just highly, highly recommend it.

"I think it's such a good way to learn more about yourself and work through your trauma, and all of your relationships are going to benefit."

Feature image: Instagram/@oliviamollyrogers