reality tv

'I cried in the first episode of Married At First Sight and I don't know who I am anymore.'

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Something a little odd happened to me last night.

You see, I sat down to watch the first episode of Married At First Sight, ready to eat chips and judge people who were getting faked married on the telly.

I thought I knew exactly what I was in for.

This season promised even more drama than last season which seemed impossible because Tracey and also Davina.

But we were told there would be an Elizabeth who would somehow look like a Disney villain and an Instagram influencer.


We also knew there would a Matthew, who’s a virgin and probably grew up in a cult, and who dances like this:


And we knew there would be a Melissa and we liked that idea very much.


But what we weren’t expecting – at any point – was for the goddamn experiment to actually work.

For a couple to see each other for the first time and like what they’re seeing. For their families not to cause mischief on the side, egged on by the producers. For the couple to seem like they have a genuine connection and to not act like d*cks.

But that’s exactly what happened with Jules and Cameron.

Jules is a 36-year-old career woman who’s ready to have a baby, and Cameron is a 32-year-old ex-cricket player who let his sports career get in the way of finding love.

The producers tried to throw a spanner in the works by making Cameron approximately 0.5757 centimetres shorter than Jules while she was wearing massive heels – but they did not care.

As soon as they saw each other, they were smitten. And weirdly nice and respectful and not awkward.

They kissed at the ceremony, while Jules’ mother cried in the first row, and I cried into my bag of chips.

At the reception, they said all their preconceptions went out the window as soon as they saw each other, and I cried a little more.

When they went up to have their first dance together, and one of the producers presumably locked the DJ out of the venue, they danced together with no music, and I cried some more.

And I’m not the only one:




Either these two are genuinely nice people who like each other and are here to restore our faith in fake TV weddings.

Or the producers got us good and I ended up with a bag of soggy chips for nothing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Only time – and fake commitment ceremonies – will tell.

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