A gap year is typically used to describe the year high school students take to find themselves.
During that time, they work or travel in an effort not only to discover themselves but to figure out what they want to do with their lives.
But when we inadvertently applied that same logic to our marriage, it brought us back from almost getting divorced.
Watch: We share our relationship deal breakers. Post continues below.
We didn’t start with the idea of taking a gap year. Our marriage wasn’t working. And if I’m honest about it, we hadn’t been us for years. Our relationship was plagued from the beginning with every issue that people go to marriage counsellors for.
We had difficulty blending our families. There were financial difficulties from having such a large family to take care of on one income. Not to mention all the baggage we bring with us as a result of our pasts. We love each other just as fiercely as we fight, but 10 years of arguments and words that should have never been said had taken their toll.
We didn’t want to divorce.
We knew that if we could get ourselves together that our marriage could be fantastic. Because at one point, it was everything we ever wanted. But we were both mentally and physically exhausted.
A short stint in counselling only made the situation worse. It was clear to both of us that we were going to end up hating each other if we continued on the current path. Neither of us wanted that, but something needed to change.
So, I moved out.
At first, the kids were happy. The arguing had stopped, at least around them. It only resumed through text messages and phone calls out of earshot. But over time, that stopped as well.