reality tv

It took one week and six days for Love Island's winners to break up.

Love is dead.

Wait, no.

A relationship is dead.

Nah, not that either.

A fling is dead with the announcement that Love Island Australia‘s winners, Grant Crapp and Tayla Damir, have parted ways.

Given the finale ended on July 5, the pair that took home $50,000 for being the public’s favourite couple might also be in contention for “most fleeting celebrity couple ever”.

Damir, 21, reportedly ended the relationship on Wednesday night.

I got our resident mathematician on the case, who calculated Crapp and Damir did not outlast the teeny tiny remnants of mascara around my lower lashes, which have not budged for approximately 18 days now.

Because when you beat Kim K and Kris Humphries’ 72 days of marital bliss, you’re truly going for gold.

“I still respect him as a person and I just think he’s young and he’s made a massively bad decision, and didn’t really think of the consequences that maybe a girl would have fallen in love with him, which just happened to be me,” Damir told Nine’s The Fix.

“Hopefully that’s something he learned through this experience and he learns not to play with people’s emotions.”

In case you missed the memo, Crapp, 22, not only has a secret girlfriend outside the Spanish villa, but a supremely fitting surname.

“He denied it when we were in the house and I just had this gut feeling to follow through with it. Once I was able to access media and read the articles, I told Grant he needed to own up. I finally got the answer that was the truth: he was on there to promote himself and he did have a girlfriend who was running his business while he was inside the Villa.”

As sad as this all is, it does help that Damir looks like the love child of Megan Gale and Jesus and has the personality to match.

Reality TV shows. They just don’t serve up the wholesome guys they used to, eh?