If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
I’m not a go-with-the-flow kind of gal. I plan, I ruminate, and I make sure all the “i”s are dotted before I go forth with any plan.
I anticipated waiting until the end of 2020 to tell my husband that I was done with the marriage. No point in saying anything sooner when we’re all trapped in the same house courtesy of virtual schooling and coronavirus, right?
Watch: Mamamia Confessions: Relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
I threw a bomb on that plan when I broke the news months earlier, in August.
I tried to convince him we could raise the kids in a Parenting Marriage which allows us to stay in the house, our children have access to us, and our finances remain stable. He could bone whoever he wanted, win-win right?
Since attempting to break up, I’m continuously surprised at the unfolding of life events.
My husband cries almost daily and wants to stay together.
Why… why? Why would anyone want to beg daily for months to stay with someone who doesn’t want to be with them?
I figured my husband would be pissy for a while and then eventually sober up. It’s been months and he’s still a fragile mess. I tried everything to make him feel better and explain how this is better for all of us.
When he bawled, I bawled. I wanted to take away his hurt. This was my doing; I should be suffering from angst.
Two months later and now I’m almost indifferent to his crying. I know that makes me a complete b***h. It seems my sympathy and pats on the back with a “there, there, it’ll be alright” have a limit.
Our divorce counsellor this week told me all I can do is say, “I know, this is really rough right now”, and leave it at that.
My kids sensed our misery after the divorce bombshell.
Conventional wisdom says kids pick up on their parents’ unhappiness. They sense the tension. In our case, my kids were happy in their bubble of our world revolving around them without ever knowing the discord between their parents.