Here is a short, but succinct, list of things I will never, ever understand:
1. Quantum physics.
2. Figuring out what all the ingredients are in my beauty products.
3. How the heck it’s been six-and-a-half weeks and we still have NO IDEA whether Kylie Jenner is or isn’t with child.
We all thought the fact that the 20-year-old hasn’t posted a recent image of her entire body since the ‘news’ broke was for sure evidence a Baby Kylie was on the way.
Then a rep for Caitlyn Jenner said that she was told about her daughter’s pregnancy “some time” before the rumours first began.
After a whole heap of sneaky pics and a ‘sort of, not really, but we’ll definitely take it’ confirmation? Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy was practically a fact.
Then, paparazzi photos of the youngest Jenner's bump surfaced. It appeared the world had finally, FINALLY got the (visual) confirmation we so desperately
Until Kylie Jenner brought us crashing back down to Earth by proving the photos had actually been digitally altered to make her appear larger - that is, more pregnant - than she really was.
To add insult to injury, Kylie then shared her first full-length body shot in MONTHS, complete with sister Khloé (who is also rumoured to be pregnant...).
But it was a tiny detail in another Snapchat that has fans (read: tragic Kardashian fans like me) going into meltdown.
You see, Kylie and Khloé were purchasing some goodies for a "girls' trip". Like a few packets of chips and a few lollies. Standard, really.
And... some... wait... what is that?!
That, dear readers, appears to be a packet of tampons. A packet of tampons that one (if not two) supposedly pregnant ladies definitely do not need.
Curiously, Khloe and sister Kim - who is expecting baby number three via a surrogate - also posted pictures of the same pile of snacks, with the box of tampons curiously out of shot.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
LISTEN: Mamamia Out Loud on the 'convenient' timing of all of these Kardashian baby rumours. Post continues after audio.
This is what it's come to: analysing each and every detail of photos to check for evidence of... menstruation?
This has to stop.
Kylie could, of course, just come clean and tell us in EXPLICIT TERMS what's going on.
Or, you know, because it's her body and growing a baby is kind of a big and important thing, she has every right to keep it private (and keep us guessing in the process).