ATTENTION UNIVERSE: Kylie Jenner (AKA the youngest member of the Kardashian/Jenner clan) is trying to set a new fashion trend, and I have a few too many feelings about it.
This new “look” is horrible. Like, reaaaaaally bloody horrible. And I swear on peanut butter and all that is holy I will fight it until the day Kylie Jenner herself turns to me and says, “You know what, Michelle? I was wrong, and you were right, and this trend should definitely not exist. Here’s $100 million and a Ferrari for being a crusader of truth and realisation and showing me the light”.
You’ve basically read a rambling thesis without me explaining what the trend is – sorry about that.
The trend is this:
A-YUP. Bike shorts one-pieces, so sheer and unforgiving they would show up the exact shape of the two croissants I shoved down my gob 20 minutes ago.
If you’re thinking, “Oh don’t be stupid, weird writer lady, she’s just posing in her shapewear,” WRONG, friend. YOU ARE WRONG. This is an outfit. One that you’re supposed to wear outside. You know, in front of human people and stuff.
Of course, Kylizzle can wear whatever the bejesus she wants. That’s totally within her right to do so. Also, she’s far too distracted by the sound of dollar dollar billz pouring into her account to notice what a random chick from ‘Straya thinks.