This morning I learned some alarming news.
Kylie Jenner – one of the world’s most recognisable faces – admitted that in all her 21 years of life, she’d never had cereal with milk. Until, like, yesterday. (And not even for breakfast. Mr Kellogg is rolling over in his grave.)
Behold:
last night i had cereal with milk for the first time. life changing.
— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) September 19, 2018
As a cereal obsessive, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this fact.
The mere thought that there are living, breathing humans, with roofs over their heads and full pantries, who are going through life without knowing one of the most holy of food pairings is, well… troubling.
Kylie is an almost-billionaire with a handbag closet the size of my apartment. She could stock every single brand of cereal in her kitchen and it would barely dent her daily spending limit. And still, she’s never known the taste of a Cheerio just as it slips into that perfect state of not-yet-crunchy and not-yet-squashy.
I’d understand not reaching for milky Coco Pops when you’re above age 12 (though I stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a bowl for dinner at age 32) but never, ever in your childhood? PLEASE. EXPLAIN.
I, of course, had questions. Like, did Kris Jenner feed her kids in the morning? What in God’s name do rich people eat for breakfast? Are diamonds in a bowl of Dom Perignon a thing?
I wasn’t the only one to be baffled by Kylie’s tweet. Twitter was alight with thousands of replies.
When you’re so busy making them billionaires you forget the basics pic.twitter.com/2ZgjaAw7xg
— Laura Stevens (@lauraannstevens) September 19, 2018
Youre so brave, thanks for sharing your story
— Arena ✨ (@are__zapata) September 19, 2018
Milk as opposed to what? The blood of poor people?
— Matty Howard (@mthoward13) September 19, 2018
Wait till you try peanut butter and jam.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) September 19, 2018
Wait till you try coffee with hot water
— austin williams (@austinwilliamsw) September 19, 2018
Kylie did wind up giving some form of explanation but also not really.
i always liked cereal dry i never bothered to put milk
— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) September 19, 2018
And she did give her recipe so that we, too, can eat like Kylie Jenner: a serve of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (great choice) followed by a pour of regular milk (also a great choice).
So while Kylie – hopefully – continues to eat her way through all the cereals with milk, I’m sending her a list of other fundamental breakfast food pairings to try. Starting with bacon and eggs.
What do you think of Kylie’s cereal confession? Tell us in the comments below.
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