She was too awkward, too angsty, too scowly. She always looked royally pissed off on the red carpet.
Or, as she puts it herself, she wasn’t “…accessible, easy, and uncomplicated.”
Stewart talked to US Marie Claire magazine for its upcoming August issue about those early, difficult years during which she starred in the world’s biggest film series, Twilight, but was sometimes so anxious she felt ill.
Watch Kristen Stewart talk about winning a French Oscar for The Clouds of Sils Maria… Post continues after video.
After years of intense scrutiny, and public condemnation after an affair with married director Rupert Sanders (she was dating Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson at the time, he was married with children and it’s fair to say fans were not pleased), Stewart is now 25 and she’s finished apologising.
“Lately, I’ve been doing less of the ‘I’m sooooo sorry.’ And more of the ‘No. Fuck. Jesus,’” she told Marie Claire.
“I’m really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That’s a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is fucking awesome.”
Check out Kristen Stewart’s new look… Post continues after gallery.
Kristen Stewart's short hair.
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She describes her new attitude as “feral”.
“I lit my universe on fire,” she admits with a sly smile, “and I watched it burn.”
“Speaking very candidly,” she says at last, lifting her chin and swallowing a gulp of her vodka tonic, “it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more,” she pauses, then settles on the word, “feral.”
The actress, who is rumoured to be dating Alicia Cargile and currently filming the Ang Lee drama Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, also decided to face up to the world – literally.
“My hair was such a crutch. I looked quote unquote ‘sexy’ no matter what. I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn’t have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out. I felt more confident than I had in a really long time. And it felt really good,” she said.
“Maybe to most people long hair is prettier. But then what? Is your main goal in life to be desired? That is boring as fuck.”