WARNING: This is the definition of a first world problem. But help.
My boyfriend is great at gifts. Like really great. He also spends way more money than I do on presents.
Woe is me right? Wait, hear me out.
I actually….hate it. It really stresses me out. He is so generous and thoughtful at the whole gifting thing it makes me feel super anxious about birthdays/Christmases/anniversaries, because I can’t compete. My presents are just never as good, no matter how much thought and time I give myself to plan them.
I know I know, you’re shaking your head. But listen.
Speaking of gift etiquette. Is it okay to regift? Post continues after video.
I’m sure I’m not the only one that suffers from gift guilt, and this relationship is not even the first time I have experienced it.
I also have a best friend who is an over-gifter. She always gives me lavish lovely presents and I am left standing there handing over something that I thought was nice, until I open hers.
So this Christmas I opened up three amazing presents from my partner – they were all things I’d dropped hints about, really wanted and were exactly my size. God dammit.
I got him one nice gift. I thought I’d nailed it but once again I looked guiltily at the presents he’d given me after we’d both torn off our wrapping and I internally cringed. I once again had this urge to dash to the post-Christmas sales and buy something extra.
We earn around the same amount of money, our families are of the same social class, we’ve grown up with similar values and we both enjoy the actual act of giving presents to each other. We even go for similar style presents – but his are always better. While I know it is not a competition, I kinda want to…win… just once, y’know?
But I also have this thing, (instilled in me by my parents) where I don’t like spending a hell of a lot on presents. I am not stingy, I would say I am pretty average (if I compare myself to our Mamamia readers.)
A quick squiz on socials and I know I am not the only one that’s been overshadowed this year in the gifting department.
Model and entrepreneur Steph Claire Miller (nee Smith) had agreed to no presents with her husband Josh this year, and yet he still broke the rules surprising her with some lovely ‘S’ earrings, which she posted about on her Instagram on Christmas Day.
Top Comments
So long as the gift giver isn't making you feel bad about the apparent disparity, you don't need to feel bad about it yourself. If your gift is thoughtful, it doesn't need to be as expensive or extravagant as anyone else's - it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be from you and shown that you have been listening.
I shop to my budget and if people don’t like it then that’s their problem, not mine. I’m grateful for whatever I’m given, and have taught my boys that as well. I also don’t return/exchange gifts because I don’t like them (I will only exchange clothing if it’s the wrong size), generally everything will get used even if it’s not to my taste because someone has put thought into getting it for me.