'I'm advocating this.' The women sharing the exact formula to marrying rich.

In the midst of a cost-of-living crisis, influencers are urging their female followers to marry rich men. Dubbed the 'provider man' trend, the message on women's 'For You' pages is simple: Find a man who is willing to provide for you, so you can live a more comfortable life. 

The trend is further evidence that TikTok is becoming a breeding ground for sexist regression. Over the last year, the 'tradwife' trend has been dominating TikTok feeds, one homemade loaf of bread at a time. What was once seen as a dull existence, has been glamourised by the likes of Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm. 

Cooking cereal from scratch and catering to your husband’s every food craving is now trending on TikTok. The seductive simplicity of the tradwife trend has allowed far right ideologies to infiltrate mainstream social media in aesthetically pleasing bite-sized pieces. 

Watch: Dating: Translated. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.

The latest 'provider man' trend is a more palatable version of sexist regression, for those who don't like cooking. The hook is more enticing too. Women are being promised the freedom of living a 'soft life' where they can choose whether they work or not. They just need to find a rich man to facilitate their needs.


Texas-based influencer, Leticia Padua, is regarded as a pioneer of the 'provider man' trend. Under the handle, Shera Seven, she is an advocate for the 'high-value' dating movement. The former mortician advises her followers to marry for money and hope that love grows. She passionately tells her audience to stop dating broke 'dusty' men and instead date men who are richer and older. 

"Save up your own income and stop being 'Bob the Builder Chicks' who build men up and split bills with them. And don’t be 'Pickmeishas,' desperate to be chosen by a man even if he doesn’t have money," she said. Follow for more #sheraseven #sheraseven1 #sprinklesprinkle #sherasevenyoutube #sherasevenknowsbest #sherasevenclips #sherasevenlevelup #sherasevenlives #sherasevenedits #sprinklesprinkle✨ #sprinklesprinklelady #datingadvice #datingtips #relationship #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #relationshipproblems #relationshipcoach #dustiesbelike #asherastargoddess #women #hypergamy #hypergamylove #feminineenergy #couples #femininity #highstandards #levelup #feminista #feminine #selflove #love #money #beauty #fyp #fypシ #fypシ゚viral #xyzbca #xyzcba #xybca #trending #masculinity #divinefemininity #viral #viralvideo #foryoupage #brokementality ♬ original sound - SheraSeven

Padua preaches the motto that men are destined to disappoint women, so you may as well 'walk away with a bag in the process'. According to the married mother-of-two, any woman can get a job, but there is real power in finding a husband who pays the bills. Padua believes this equates to freedom. 

Dating coach Karla Elia has also made a name for herself on TikTok for pushing this rhetoric. The 24-year-old has amassed over one million followers by sharing the secret formula to getting the man of her dreams. 

In a now viral video, she shared how a change in her dating behaviour allowed her to attract a man who could provide for her. 

Elia believes that women should not be treated equally to men, but rather their time should be deemed more 'precious'. She tells her followers to look for a romantic partner who is a provider and can afford to cover not only his expenses but his partner's as well. 


"To find these men, you have to step into the energy of, 'I am worthy, I am healing, and I am not making decisions from a place of insecurity.'"

"A man needs to understand he has to be in a financial place to invest in a woman. We are investments. I know I can afford my lifestyle and if someone can't afford and add value to that, I would say: 'Thank you, next,'" Elia said.

@karlaeliaa Only date men that can afford you #relationshipadvice #datingtips #datingadvice #women #advice ♬ original sound - Karla Elia

The method has worked in Elia's own dating life. After just four months of dating, she married a high-ranking military officer, who financially supports her thanks to his investments in the stock market. Elia said the trick was viewing his transaction and savings account before saying 'I do' to ensure he could fund her lifestyle. 

Ironically, despite not believing in financially contributing to her relationship, Elia has monetized her social media platform by selling her dating advice online. 

This is the elephant in the room of successful content creators pushing outdated gender norms. If you dig beneath the surface, the influencers urging their followers to financially rely on men are making bank on pushing outdated gender norms. 

Similarly, the tradwife with a million followers is not really a 'homemaker' in the traditional sense. Instead, they are content creators marketing an ideology they don't actually live. Unlike their counterparts who are unpaid and historically undervalued, they derive big incomes and adoration from their social media platforms.


Just like most TikTok trends, the 'provider man' movement has sparked a counter trend. TikTokers who go by the handles, Lil Goodie and Scarefacemark, claim to be co-founders of the 'soft guy era.' 

@lil.goodiee I AM IN MY SOFT GUY ERA WTF… #soft #guy #era #men #women #fyp #lilgoodie #funny #satire ♬ HHUIPOY - Lil Goodie

In response to the 'provider man' trend, they are urging men to stop being the sole providers in their romantic relationships. 

"We all know being a provider in 2024 is a scam. So we don't care, we're not doing that anymore. We know that’s old-fashioned, these women got money, these women are working, so they need to contribute," Scarefacemark said. 

The influencers claim the movement is about directing men to find 'high quality women,' however some TikTok users have interpreted the trend to mean women pay for everything. 

The men deny this is the case and cite partnership as a centrepoint of the 'soft guy era.' Instead, they say it’s about the pursuit of romantic partners that can make equal or more financial contributions. 

Away from the world of fierce TikTok debate, the reality is more sobering. In this current economic climate, most households cannot afford to live off one income, so don’t have the luxury of deciding which gender gets to live the 'soft life.' 

Feature Image: Tiktok

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