
Ever since I was a child, I've had no idea how to dress.
Perhaps it was a side effect of being a twin (with younger twin brothers) and Mum therefore having precisely no time to think about what anyone was wearing. If we had shoes on, it was a bonus.
I discovered recently that Mum let Nan cut our bowl cuts. Ffs. Image: Supplied. My
earliest feelings about clothes were that they were itchy and mostly inconvenient for whatever activity I was doing.
I also remember dreading mufti days in primary school because I knew I wouldn't be wearing what everyone else was, solely because I didn't know how to... find that information. Perhaps you were supposed to be looking at your peers on the weekends or taking note of what people on the television were wearing but I DON'T KNOW because I never did it? And I'd always turn up wearing weird corduroy pants that weren't in and had never been in.
Where did Mum even buy them.
While I've always been in the fortunate position of being able to walk into most shops and find something that technically fits, that didn't make my fashion decisions any easier. Being absurdly short meant that the default items like jeans and dresses were the trickiest to find.
I also had no taste, so.
At least my sister was a fashion pioneer (she wasn't). Image: Supplied. As
I got older, puberty happened and boobs made dressing even more difficult. I didn't want anyone to look at them but covering them up was disarmingly unflattering. I was also handed the awkwardness of boobs and hips with a completely flat bum,
so precisely every item of clothing I put on was confused.
Top Comments