“That can be reversed.” The sinking feeling set in. My new-ish boyfriend and I were travelling home from his meeting my Dad and stepmum. Moments before, he had asked me if I thought they would have any more kids.
“I think my Dad has had a vasectomy,” I replied. His response was so quick that instantly I knew. Having a baby with this man, would be anything but straight forward.
It’s not like I wanted to have a baby right that second. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve wanted babies since I was 18. I was 26 when we met and he 10 years older than me. He had two beautiful little kids already. I was willing to give that a shot. But it took another year for me to be game enough to ask if he would have more children… and how?
Reversing a vasectomy is not as simple as it sounds. The level of success depends a lot on how long ago he had the ‘snip.’ Then you wait to see if it’s worked. If it hasn’t you proceed down the IVF path anyway. It was almost four more years before we were financially able to try. I didn’t want to wait any more. My step kids would already be 10 and 13 years older than our third baby (my first). So proceed to IVF we did.
Remy is an IVF baby. Many of our close family and friends don’t know this. He is also a rainbow baby, even fewer know that. So for all those people that knowingly told me to ‘just relax and it will happen,’ …yeah no it wouldn’t have. I’ve agonised for a long time about whether or not we will tell him. I’m coming to think its important that his very own origin story be out in the world.
I can't capture our entire IVF journey in one post. IVF is magic, and tragic, and gruelling. The moment he and I were re-united as embryo and mumma was so magical that I think I can share his story without him being traumatised (when he is old enough of course).
That's one of the (many) reasons why I really like the controversial book "The Amazing True Story of How Babies Are Made" by Fiona Katauskas. Not all babies are made the traditional way. Sometimes mum and dad need some help and it's not something to be ashamed of. In fact it means that those parents REALLY wanted that precious bub.