When our brilliant, whirlwind of a son was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago, what the paediatrician said next came as a bit of a surprise.
"Do you have a strong support system to lean on? Couples with neurodiverse children face very challenging times and you will need to make your marriage a priority."
Dazed from having finally been given some answers for my boy, I could hardly process what the doctor had said about ADHD let alone his heartfelt advice about our marriage.
Watch: We reveal our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
I remember going home and mentioning it briefly to my mum, but then it faded away into the background whilst we hit the ground running to help our son.
The years ticked by, the appointments with all of our son’s support services filled our diary along with working, juggling the lives of three children, trying to upgrade our home ourselves and everything in between.
Every so often I would recall the doctor’s advice but truth be told, I was tapped out.
My husband would nag at me to spend quality time together. To ask family if they could take the children maybe once a month so that we could spend time on us, just us.
But unless we had what I felt was a ‘legitimate’ excuse to ask my family to babysit, the thought of asking for help with the children didn’t sit right with me.
When my family did babysit, I would spend most of the time worried about my son’s behaviour, worried if they were coping with him and anxious about what I would be told when we got home.
I knew how hard it could be looking after three young children especially if my oldest was going through a tough time, which happened often. His outbursts were hard to handle, and I felt it was my sole responsibility to deal with it. I felt selfish to ask others for help. And so, our marriage continued to suffer.