celebrity

A censored WAP and broken records: The 12 biggest moments from the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards.

So far, the pandemic has ruined all the things we love most about award shows.

Which is... the ridiculous outfits and the interaction between celebrities who may or may not have dated and/or feuded.

Thankfully, the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards came through with a real-life award show just in the nick of time. Seriously. I couldn't handle another screen of talking heads with surprisingly bad Wi-Fi.

Watch: Megan Thee Stallion on how Beyonce inspired her... while standing at the Grammys next to Beyonce. Post continues below video.


Video via CBS.

The show wasn't totally back to normal - it was held outside rather than in the Staples Centre, with no crowd, a stripped down crew, social distancing and masks. But by our new pandemic standards, it went pretty well.

Hosted by Trevor Noah, the awards show featured approximately 12,000 performances, a two-hour in memorium segment and lots of broken records, mostly because... Beyonce.

The whole thing was nearly four hours long and since we value your time more than mine, here are the 12 biggest moments you'll probably be hearing about:

There was a REAL LIFE RED CARPET.

There were no Zoom cameras on the red carpet and I am so happy I could cry. HOLLYWOOD, YOU NEED TO ADMIT ZOOM RED CARPETS SUCK.

Thanking the vaccine gods (a.k.a Dolly Parton) that this happened for the Grammys, which are the most ridiculous, over-the-top red carpet of them all.

The amount of stars on the carpet was less than usual, but we still got the freaking weird (and also fabulous) fashion moments we craved: 

OBSESSED. Image: Getty. 

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Doja Cat is a... biker budgie. Image: Getty. 

This man wore early 2000s Dickies shorts. Image: Getty. 

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H.E.R serving 'fortune teller from a 90s movie' vibes. Image: Getty. 

Noah 'cauliflower' Cyrus. Image: Getty.

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A man in a non-black suit, we dig this from Finneas. Image: Getty.

Phoebe Bridgers sings sad songs and is dressed as a skeleton and yet is still like human sunshine??? Image: Getty.

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This man is called Bad Bunny and he just finished watching Angie Kent's season of The Bachelorette. Image: Getty.

Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars' flared pants are Gen Z approved. Image: Getty.

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LIZZO IS THE COOLEST MERMAID WE'VE EVER SEEN. Image: Getty.

The Haim sisters even wear matching pyjamas. 😍 Image: Getty.

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Disco queen Dua Lipa wore a sufficient number of sequins. Image: Getty.

Image: Getty.

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Taylor came as a literal bouquet. Image: Getty. 

I just really love Harry and his feather boa, okay? Image: Getty.

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Harry Styles' opening performance.

Hi, I didn't know I could love Harry Styles more but then this... happened:

Image: Getty.

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Image: Getty.

Harry opened the show with 'Watermelon Sugar' and a feather boa, which is how all awards ceremonies should begin from now on.

Following the performance, 'watermelon sugar meaning' was trending on Google and... goodness. Go watch the music video and you'll... understand immediately.

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Lizzo couldn't open the Best New Artist envelope and Megan Thee Stallion's win.

Lizzo is a worldwide treasure, okay.

She presented the award for Best New Artist (which she lost to Billie Eilish in 2020), but not before the most Lizzo intro ever: "BITCH I'M BACK".

She then struggled to open the winner's envelope, but eventually got there to announce Megan Thee Stallion had won. 

Megan just sat there like... nah, what? for approximately 30 seconds, which is funny because she was obviously the most likely to win. 'Savage' and 'WAP' were some of the biggest songs for the year.

Lizzo and Megan then hugged before being like, 'oh shit yeah that's right, pandemic!!'

Image: Ten.

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Also feels important to point out the whole ceremony took place ~outside~ in a tent, which gave it real high school graduation vibes. It also meant Megan Thee Stallion's speech was interrupted by an obnoxiously loud LA car. 

Dua Lipa's disco queen medley.

Dua Lipa is the reason most of pop music sounds like a 80s club right now, so you betcha she brought disco to the Grammys stage, with a medley of 'Levitating' and 'Don't Start Now' and like, 900,000 sequins.

Image: Getty.

Image: Getty.

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Image: Getty.

Taylor Swift's medley performance.

Taylor Swift turned the Grammys set into a full-blown enchanted forest for a medley of songs from folklore and evermore; 'cardigan', 'august' and 'willow', with pals and collaborators Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner.

Image: Getty.

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(Yeah, cause remember how she released two pandemic albums and is also re-recording her first six because the devil works hard, but Taylor Swift works harder.)

I also fell off my damn seat because 'august' is in my top three Taylor songs ever and I wasn't expecting it, so enjoy:

Mickey Guyton's performance of 'Black Like Me'.

Country artist Mickey Guyton is the first Black solo female artist to be nominated in a Grammy country category, which is huge. What makes this even bigger is that it was for her single 'Black Like Me'.

Image: Getty.

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She performed the song, which she released amidst the Black Lives Matter protests following George Floyd's death.

It's about her experiences as a black woman navigating life in America and a career in country music:

It's a hard life on easy street

Just white painted picket fences far as you can see

And if you think we live in the land of the free

Then you should try to be, oh, black like me

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H.E.R's important Song of the Year win.

H.E.R. won Song of the Year for her single 'I Can't Breathe', which she wrote in response to George Floyd's May 2020 death.

"I didn't imagine that my fear and that my pain would turn into impact and it would possibly turn into change," she said during her acceptance speech.

"I recorded this song myself in my bedroom at my mom's house. And I want to thank my dad, he cried — he was in tears when I wrote the song and I played it for him. He was the first person I played it for."

H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas accept the Grammy for Song of the Year. Image: Getty.

She ended her speech by referencing the Black Lives Matter movement.

"Remember, we are the change that we wish to see and that fight that we had in us, the summer of 2020, keep that same energy. Thank you."

Megan, Cardi and... 'WAP'.

Megan Thee Stallion performed 'Savage' and then Cardi B arrived, and you know what that means.

Image: Getty.

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There's some goddamn whores in the house but oh my god, they couldn't sing half the words to WAP on prime time American television.

Instead there were lots of strange noises, which made the song sound 100 times more dirty. That's a spectacular feat, because HAVE YOU HEARD WAP??? 

Anyway, the censoring was the internet's favourite but also least favourite moment so far.

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Beyonce made history. Twice.

When Megan Thee Stallion won Best Rap Performance for 'Savage Remix' featuring Beyonce, Queen B equaled a very important record.

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With 27 Grammy wins, she tied with Alison Krauss as the female artist with the most Grammy wins in history.

Then about *checks watch*, 15 minutes later, she beat THAT record to become the most decorated female Grammy winner of all time, after winning her 28th award for Best R&B performance.

"As an artist, I believe it is my job, and all of our jobs, to reflect the times and it has been such a difficult time. So I wanted to uplift, encourage and celebrate all of the beautiful black queens and kings that continue to inspire me and inspire the whole world. 

"This is so overwhelming, I have been working my whole life since nine years old and I can't believe this happened on such a magical night. Thank you so much."

Lil Baby's performance about police brutality and freedom in America.

Rapper Lil Baby's performance of 'The Bigger Picture' has been called the most powerful of the night, after he used his time to call out police brutality and racism.

It also featured social justice leader Tamika Mallory speaking at a podium: "President Biden, we demand justice, equity, policy and everything else that freedom encompasses."

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Taylor Swift becomes the first female to win Album of the Year three times.

Image: Getty.

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Taylor Swift became the first female artist to win Album of the Year three times with folklore. She'd previously won the award for Fearless and 1989.

Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon and Frank Sinatra are the only other recording artists to have achieved this milestone.

She thanked her boyfriend and collaborator Joe Alwyn, "James, Ines and Betty and their parents" (those are the daughters of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, and the names of Taylor's folklore characters) and the fans.

"Thank you so much, and thank you to the Recording Academy. We will never forget that you did this for us, thank you."

Billie Eilish dedicating Record of the Year to Megan Thee Stallion.

Billie Eilish took out the biggest award of the night, Record of the Year, for 'Everything I Wanted'. First of all, she was announced winner by a literal Beatle, and the first thing she said when she got on stage was "Hi, Ringo, what's up?"

Gen Z are wild.

Image: Getty.

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After that, she dedicated the award to Megan Thee Stallion, who she said should've won.

"Megan, girl, I was going to write a speech about how you deserved this but then I was like 'there's no way they're going to choose me!' I was like 'it's hers!' You deserve this. 

"You had a year that I think is un-toppable. You are beautiful, so talented - untoppable. You deserve everything in the world and I think about you constantly and I root for you always and you deserve it, honestly, genuinely, this goes to her, can we please steer for Megan Thee Stallion, please?"

She then thanked the Academy, "Ringo" (omg), her team and brother Finneas.

"Thanks for doing this. I love you. Thank you."

And with that, we made it.

The first semi-normal awards ceremony in a little while is done, and I need a nap.

Feature image: Getty.

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