If being diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer at the age of 27 wasn’t hard enough, imagine being diagnosed whilst living in a new state, far from the comforts of my home.
It was strange. I remember thinking back then that all I wanted to do was move back home to Adelaide and have the support of my family and friends as I faced having to go through seven months of chemo and a double mastectomy.
But then, I became so conflicted because I also didn’t want to give instant power to the disease. I felt if I moved away from my ‘new life’ in Melbourne then I had already started to give in to the cancer. Being completely stubborn by nature, I dug my heels in, held my head high and was committed to ‘getting on with life’.
When my treatment started, it was really difficult.
I remember catching the tram to work alone and having so many people staring at me as I sat their with my bald head. I would work, then head to the hospital for chemo, then head back to work. I was surrounded by an incredible team of colleagues but I didn’t want to burden them with my insecurities, or have them seeing me flat and weak and feeling pity for me.
Sisters Rachelle and Corinne spoke to Mamamia about what it’s like when someone in your family is diagnosed with cancer. Post continues after video.
I tried to keep life as normal as I could and I did that so I wouldn’t have to focus on what was trying to kill me, literally. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I didn’t have my mum, my dad or my best friends their holding my hand telling me everything was going to be OK.
In a way, I wanted it that way. The less I saw those close to me hurting because of what I was going through, the easier it became. My mum would beg me to allow her to come and be by my side but after seeing her at one chemo session, I could tell she was struggling to keep her brave face on.
I could tell all she could see was her little girl, looking frail and fighting to survive. So I banned her from coming back until I finished my treatment. It was easier that way for me.
Sure, there were times when my best friend Adie would come up from Adelaide and I’d allow myself to be vulnerable, but it was rare. I found most of the time, I was trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I was strong as hell.