
With all the “here for hook-ups” and the polyamorous/open/ethically non-monogamous and just plain married guys and gals or couples seeking their “unicorns,” how could you ever hope to find someone looking for something real just like you?
It’s not impossible. It happens for a lot of couples, including, much to my surprise, myself.
Watch: The horoscopes, dating. Post continues below.
I filed for divorce from my husband after nine long months of chaos and attempts at reconciliation. Single for the first time in ten years, I downloaded Tinder.
Dating apps had not been a thing the last time I’d last dated, so I was fascinated, but they seemed the best way for me to meet single available men.
My ex-husband and I shared a friend group. I also had two children 50 per cent of the time, worked a full-time job, and I didn’t drink. All of those things immediately eliminated how often I could go out and where I might even go.
Was I ready to begin dating when I first downloaded Tinder?
Had I sorted out my issues with the end of my marriage and appropriately grieved the end of that relationship?
Uhhhhh definitely not.
I did, however, start a profile and go on a couple of dates with guys. I very quickly realised I wasn’t ready yet and took a break.
When I came back to the app, I had worked through some things. I still had more to work through, but I was ready to try to more actively date. And I did.
I went on dates with hot guys and intelligent guys and nerdy guys and guys who looked good probably like five years ago (and in their profile pictures), but now had badly receding hairlines and thought it was totally cool to show up to a date wearing slippers in the shape of paws (real story).
But after going through some frogs, I met Bryan, my now husband, on Tinder.
Here’s what you can do to find your own Bryan or Bryanna (and believe me, you want your own Bryan or Bryanna):
1. Be clear about what you’re looking for in your profile.
'Not here for hook-ups', 'looking for dates', or 'looking for dates that could lead to something more' are clear indicators of intent and are to the point. All folks looking to send you on a walk of shame should then swipe left (though, to be fair, they may not even read your profile anyway, but you’ve done your part).
Do NOT say you’re looking for a significant other/boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife. That’s bound to freak out anyone.
2. Include realistic photos.
Do yourself and your dates a favour and be honest. Include recent photos (taken within the last month). Even if you’ve been on the app a while, update your photos every month or so.
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