I would love to tell you that being in a poly relationship magically takes away all feelings of jealousy. If I did, I would be lying to you.
No matter how ‘woke’ we think we are, feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, or simply being overwhelmed happen. What’s really the magic wand, so to speak, in any relationship, mono or poly, is fervent communication.
My first foray into the poly world is not the Poly 101 course I would want for anyone else, but it did teach me a lot.
Watch: How to have better sex. Post continues below.
My husband at the time and I didn’t handle things the best way possible. Rather than discuss what was and was not okay within our relationship, he made a lot of presumptions.
In his mind, since play with others was allowed while I was present, it made sense he could do so when I wasn’t involved.
Every relationship, whether poly or monogamous, is different. But what’s the same across the board is the need to communicate effectively, openly, and honestly.
We had been in an open relationship for about a year when he began travelling for work.
Discussions arose surrounding both of us getting our sexual needs met while he was away. Though we both agreed friends with benefits relationships were okay, what we didn’t agree to were full-blown emotional relationships.
Unfortunately, my husband decided this was what he wanted, and rather than talk to me about his feelings, he just did what he wanted and hoped he wouldn’t get caught.
What I took away from the whole ordeal is this; You must talk and talk a lot.