'My engagement ring was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Until I found out I paid for half of it.'

A woman online is asking others for advice after she realised she'd been duped into paying for more than half of her engagement ring

For so many of us, getting married is an event we have fantasised about since childhood — from getting proposed to, planning a wedding and then officially tying the knot. Getting married is supposed to be a fairytale from beginning to end...

But then we grow up and reality sets in.

In one Reddit post, a 28-year-old woman shared her story in hopes of finding answers, telling readers she was furious when she learned her now-husband, aged 30, seemed to use her for her money.

Watch: A guide to buying diamond rings. Post continues after video. 

Video via Mamamia.

It began when she got proposed to by her then-boyfriend with a gorgeous diamond ring — one she thought was a "nice ring" and "quality piece symbolising our love."

"My husband and I have been married for just under [three] months and have been having a huge argument about my engagement ring," she explained.

"We got married one month into him proposing to me. It wasn't a fancy wedding, and we had our honeymoon right after we signed the papers at the courthouse. He gave me a diamond engagement ring close to 8K — a 2C lab diamond. He didn't have funds available readily as we are saving for a home so he put this ring on a payment plan."


That's where things went wrong.

"I found out after we married and merged our finances that he has been withdrawing funds from our joint account (we make roughly the same) to finance this ring," she continued. "I was just taken aback and honestly put off by the fact he was making me pay for a GIFT he gave to me."

The woman added that her husband felt her engagement ring was a "wedding expense" and as such, it was "only fair that I contribute towards it too and that as a woman of this day, I shouldn't hesitate to be an equal partner."

"I called bulls**t," she said, adding several reasons why she disagreed. 

  • "You don't make the recipient of a gift pay for the damned gift [and] an engagement ring is considered a gift in most societies."
  • "We never discussed if he had any issues with [him paying]."

She added, "I've unintentionally partially paid for two instalments now which makes me a part-owner of the ring. If I knew my husband was going to be making me pay for the ring, I wouldn't have agreed to 'buy' it. Mutual consent is essential when a couple is deciding to invest in an asset. Owning a house or a car jointly requires two 'yeses' and I wouldn't certainly have said yes to jointly owning a ring he was SUPPOSED to give to me as a gift."

The newly married wife added she doesn't plan to "apologise" to her husband.

"I didn't know that he was plotting to 'get even' with me by taking out a payment plan and using our funds to finance it," she said.


"This caused him to flare up, and he berated me for being sexist towards him. I put my foot down — not because I can't afford it but because my husband's sheer stubbornness and tackiness about wanting me to pay p***es me off. I don't mind splurging for him, but this whole situation has left a very bad taste in my mouth.

"He expects me to apologise to him because I called his actions tacky and decisions scammy and in bad faith."

The post garnered more than 2,000 comments which were all divided on who is in the right. 

One commenter criticised the fact the couple who were only engaged for a month before getting married. 

"You got married after being engaged for one month... How long have you known this guy and why are you rushing to set up joint accounts with someone you don't trust? And, if your accounts are joined, how else is he supposed to pay for things?

"This sounds insane on all levels. Nobody is making good decisions."

Another outright called the new bride the "a**hole". 

"Did you buy him an engagement ring [or] gift with your own money? It doesn't sound like it," the user wrote. "If he slowly withdrew money from the joint account to pay for the kind of ring that you wanted (which it does sound like, you don't seem to have complaints there), it's called budgeting. Which is a good thing to have in a partner."


Others sympathised with the woman. 

"I'm sorry but you come off as an entitled, selfish brat. I'm guessing you're not that type of person, but you're just really upset and frustrated. I'd normally ask you to look big picture, but I don't think that will help you," they said. "Try finding alternative fixes.

"Maybe pay yourself back from the joint account, with a set amount per month? Eventually you get your money back. Everyone is happy."

One of the top comments thought hit the nail on the head and highlighted a real issue between the couple, 

"It seems like he's trapped in a no-win situation here," one person wrote. "If he got you a less expensive ring, it might not be what you feel you deserved, and you'd be upset with him for that. If he spent a chunk from the house savings, you might be upset with him for dipping into that. On a one-month engagement, he didn't have time to finance it by himself before your finances merged, and afterwards all his money becomes your money, and is suddenly off limits for this purpose.

What am I missing here? Because it honestly seems to me like you two got married on a whim (one-month engagement), and you're starting to have second thoughts, possibly about his income or financial standing, and you're channelling those feelings into this as a proxy."

What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments section below.

Feature Image: Getty.