The gotchas are a nightmare for first homebuyers! We found out at the eleventh hour of getting our almost finances approved by the bank that we had to cancel a very low limit credit card (at a moment's notice, with barely one business day to get it done, thanks very much!). We also got asked to fork out thousands of $ more for our deposit than intended at late notice because the proposed stamp duty rate wasn't approved on time. It all worked out but it felt like one hurdle after another thanks to the banks being disorganised. The assumption that we're all made of a money and can afford to throw it away like that is eye watering! Capitalism is alive and well!

Dammit, I had to do a Long macchiato profile if no one else will. Long Mac: She is the neurotic pick-me girl younger sister of the espresso drinker. She's not like other girls. She's mysterious because you can't figure her out - how do I even pronounce her name? She keeps you guessing. She has Complexity with a dash of sweetness to balance it out. Is she fun and light hearted on the surface like capuccino girl, or is she bitter and bit tough like her hardened espresso sister? Are you a long Mac woman?

@mustlovebooks Yes! Also if we examine Indigenous culture, children in some clans are often raised by different people in their network, often through the kinship system. Is that not the definition of civilised, simplified family daycare? Community! 💗 Also, on what you were saying before about gender roles, very true - in some cultural groups, women can teach male babies hunting and gathering. They are well ahead of us! 😉

Touché, Holly. 👏👏.

That was my TER score! 👏👏🤗 I got into uni with that and got a degree, zero sh#ts given! No one even asked me once we were in uni about my score. 💁‍♀️ Who cares beyond school?

Had I chosen to be a mum, stay at home parenting would probably have been  the preferred option for me, come to think of it. And on that - similarly, my decision not to be a parent also gets attacked or queried. People's entitlement to push their opinion about a person's life choices to their face never fails to astound me.

This is relatable - my too muchness comes from my intensity, whether that's wanting to help people, offer ideas at work or at home, share humour, perform (voices, singing) be goofy and entertain people, the list goes on. But being neurodivergent, I learned to read the room even if I struggle with impulse control. Whereas with yourself, it seems you are just very extroverted, and have a big warm energy that as women we aren't often encouraged to share of ourselves. You sound like you like to connect at a moderate to high intensity, frequently with people. Whereas some people like to connect at a lower intensity, or less frequently. Maybe some therapy or coaching to unpack what is happening would help. You might like to try Dr Ali Walker's Click or Clash quiz to work out your connection style, I found it really helpful. Wishing you luck and friendship. You seem like a lovely friend. 🩷

I use the cold setting when blowdrying and styling my hair always, just for that finishing touch. I don't think you need the strong hold hairspray with the hairdryer. Dry shampoos, styling mousse and heat protection styling sprays are all good as well. Good hack otherwise.

Fabulous Holly! This and your comment on women over 50 / body positivity in girls during the recent pod on feminism really nailed it.  Progress has never been linear with how women move up in the world. We need to stop pretending women need to be everything by 50 just because it's 2023. Our fear of softness, vulnerability and failures is so damaging and leaves no room for grace.

Really interesting insights and very true. What I have often felt is that helicopter parents are subconsciously trying to compensate for the flawed parenting they received. As a society we've gradually evolved in our understanding of health, education, living standards, social fairness. Naturally that would affect how we choose to raise young people. In some ways it's had positive impacts - I have noticed children generally seem kinder than they used to be in the 90s -and in some ways it has gone too extreme as well. Great article Mia.

Thanks for sharing. I get this completely and I'm glad someone has finally written about it. People have this obsession with the notion that their problem isn't real or important if someone else has it worse than them. Not true. It's not that linear or straightforward. I'm tired often, and I'm child-free. People can have mental health battles, disabilities, illnesses as well. Energy can fluctuate. People are tired because they just are. So it's a pity lots of triggered parents decided to lend their 50 cents to reiterating the same uninspired point about all the spoilt childfree people and how easy they have it. It's divisive and reductive.

"The worry here is not that a rich, successful and very talented actress was immensely disliked, but the fact that at some stage of their lives, almost every woman in the world has been Anne Hathaway."

I love it I love it I love it I love it.

Yes! 100% yes to all this. If 40 were old, the retirement age would be brought forward by 2-3 decades. Average life expectancies would not be what they are. We aren't allowed to let ourselves go without it being seen as a negative. Yet men with beer guts get labelled as having 'dad bods' and it's embraced as a term of endearment. As for what would make me "sad"? Having kids. I'm allowed to say that. It doesn't take anything away from other women who choose to be mothers, and it doesn't take away my happiness or femininity to have made that decision. We need to keep validating the 35+ and 40+ women in media. Great article.

So.... I like how I look, but I'm not a model by any stretch, or plain. I have experienced just plain old rudeness when I put extra makeup on.... I've been all sizes from 12 up to 18. For those of us who've been called stunning and ugly numerous times, society leaves you in a permanent state of dysmorphia about what is beautiful. The takeaway from this is that we still equate beauty with being small, blonde and conventional...no thanks. Very antiquated. 

I am relating so much to your comments on focusing your intensity into projects and having big feelings that aren't always shared by others. By the way I have ADHD (lifelong diagnosis). I'm curious to know your developments on this...thanks for sharing! Love your openness and vulnerability Mia!