Let’s talk about sex. It’s hot, fun and exciting when you’re in the moment, but sometimes things can get awkward… very awkward.
Look, when you’re naked and there’s a lot of movement (and sounds), things are bound to go wrong.
Whether it’s saying the wrong thing, a surprising bodily liquid or an accidental sex injury, we’ve all had an embarrassing mishap in (and outside of) the bedroom. And someone walking in on you during the deed is really only the tip… of the iceberg.
The Mamamia team confess the weirdest places we’ve had sex. Post continues below.
So to make you feel better about the cringe-worthy moments that continue to haunt you, we asked 13 women to share their most embarrassing sex stories.
Here’s what they had to say.
“Halfway through I realised that I was bleeding.”
“I’d been on one or two dates with this guy and we decided to go to my place after a date. We were fooling around and started to have sex and about halfway through I realised I was bleeding… To my complete shock, I had somehow gotten my period two weeks early, in the middle of having sex with a guy I hardly knew. I was so confused and embarrassed, mainly because I didn’t really know him, that I just stopped and locked myself in the shower for 10 minutes. He was lovely about it and didn’t care at all but it wasn’t how I thought the one-night stand-type night would turn out.”
“I was so overwhelmed I passed out.”
“The first time I had sex I was already feeling nervous and anxious, and once it was all over (a couple of minutes, give or take) he told me that the condom had broken. Naturally, I fainted. I was so overwhelmed and just…passed out. Sexy, right?”
“I accidentally weed.”
“I accidentally weed on an ex-boyfriend when I was in a weird position and I told him I, uh, ‘squirted’. I’m not sure that’s even a real thing that ladies actually do but he believed it. I was so embarrassed. At least he could feel proud!”
“I noticed there was poo on his bedsheets.”
“Met a guy at a pub, we went back to his and ended up having a great time involving anal. Afterwards, I noticed there was a significant amount of my poo on his bedsheets. I diverted his attention, turned the lights off and we went to sleep. I left early in the morning before the morning sun shed light on my poo. We ended up dating and I brought it up months later, he had noticed the poo but didn’t give a toss, we had a good laugh.”
“Blood went everywhere and he nearly fainted!”
“My boyfriend at the time and I were getting frisky in the shower. I was quite enjoying it and for some reason told him to go ‘hammer and tongs’. He ended up snapping his banjo aka tearing the frenulum that joins the foreskin to the underside of the head of the penis. Blood went everywhere and he nearly fainted! I had to take him to get medical treatment…he had opened an artery and needed stitches to fix it, which also involved getting a needle in his willy.”