This post deals with eating disorders and might be triggering for some readers.
My entire life I was taught that being fat was the worst thing in the world. As a child I was taught that being fat made me unhealthy, unlovable and that the only way that I could find happiness was by shrinking myself.
Even as a teenager being a size 14 was always the dream. If I could just be a size 14 I would be happy. Maybe people would stop making comments about my body. If I were a size 14 I would have more in common with my friends, I wouldn’t have to shop in different stores, we could even swap clothes! Being a size 14 was going to make me happy! Society told me so, the TV told me so, my family told me so.
But for me, being a size 14 almost killed me.
I was 25. I went to the gym six days a week, sometimes twice a day. I meal prepped. I took supplements and appetite suppressants. I logged every single calorie that went into my mouth and when it wasn’t on my meal plan I forced myself to be sick. Even sometimes when it was on my meal plan, I forced myself to be sick. By the age of 25 I had been suffering from bulimia for eight long years.
Watch: Angie Kent opens up about her bulimia on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Post continues after video.
Suffering from bulimia for so long made me physically and mentally weak. I kept no food down and I was always thinking about what I could and could not eat. I would weigh myself multiple times a day just to make sure that I hadn’t gained any weight. I would take my scales to my partners when I spent the night and I took fistfuls of laxatives when the bathroom was too close to people and I didn’t want people to hear me vomit.