Everyone knows that if you’re in a situation where you have to deliver bad news to someone that might make you uncomfortable or hurt their feelings, it’s difficult.
However, everyone also knows that honesty is the best policy. This phrase is especially prevalent in the dating world. Amongst the cheaters, ghosters, orbiters and liars, most people would tell you that they want someone who is upfront and truthful.
I was also a firm believer in being honest with my feelings and intentions towards the guys I dated. And I expected the same back. However, the dating world is brutal and although we all say ‘honesty is the best policy’, hiding behind the screens of our phones is definitely way easier.
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It’s safe to say that it’s been a long time (four years) since I’ve had someone I dated be honest with their intentions towards me. Since then, the connections I have formed with guys I dated usually end with hard ghosting (where they just stop replying to you all together), soft ghosting (where they “like” your messages but have no intention of replying to you ever again) and my favourite: orbiting, (where they’ve ghosted you but linger on your social media accounts by watching your Instagram stories, liking and sometimes even commenting on your photos. But they’ll never private message you again because that’s way too intense).
So, as you can imagine, I didn’t really have high hopes for meeting someone honest through dating. In fact, I had forgotten what dating an honest guy was like. Until last week.
A few weeks ago, I started a conversation with a guy who I had met through a dating app. We got on so well, were messaging each other constantly and after a week of talking, we went to grab a drink. The date itself was amazing. Actually, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. It was decent but when you’ve had a strong streak of bad dates in a row, any average date seems like the best thing that has ever happened to you. And that is exactly how I felt during this date. We spent over 10 hours together talking, and laughing and we planned our second date.
Days after we saw each other, we were still talking, but the tone had definitely changed. Our conversations were slower, less interesting and emotionally draining. I knew this feeling all too well. As I prepared myself for some form of ghosting to happen, he did something that I was 100 per cent not ready for. He was honest. And I hated it.