User Comments

dp January 4, 2021

@salcy I’m no fan of Alexander and their relationship has red flags throughout its life - but - I don’t recall that he was sleeping with her sister?? Is that correct?

I do love the historical fiction angle. I felt like I was in Russia and post war USA and loved getting an insight into these periods of time. 

dp December 21, 2020

@mamamia-user-228828311 how can you cheer someone on who took advantage of people and stole millions of their savings?

Definitely looks like she planned it, but can’t say I wish her well.

dp December 21, 2020

There are 9 seperate children claiming he had touched them appropriately. That’s a significant number, I don’t understand how he could potentially be dropped from all of these charges. Does anyone else think something is missing here or that it’s a bit strange?

dp December 20, 2020

@cat I can see why. Totally the same for me and almost every other mother I know. It's like this unspoken truth that no-one tells you about in case it makes you seem ungrateful for their children.

I love my son (my second), he makes my heart burst (cliche, but it's what it feels like) all the time but the honest truth is that he has come at a big cost. there's so little time for me or just me and my husband, and as someone who didn't have kids until her mid-30s - it's still a big adjustment.

dp December 14, 2020

I think this applies to well past the first year, depending on if and when any other children arrive. 

Having a relationship with young kids is hard - and it’s hard for years. And you can’t really predict how you or your partner will react until it happens.

My husband and I could both quickly see how couples don’t survive once you have kids. We’ve had some low points ourselves, but are hopeful they won’t last. 

The impact on the mother is also a huge consideration. Whenever I thought about becoming a mother, I never once wanted to sign up as housewife, yet that’s the role most of us end up playing, while often also juggling a job / career. My husband is pretty hands on and even still, I find the mental load heavy. 

I also don’t think it’s made me happier overall, because for all the amazing upside there’s been considerable downside too. 

dp November 14, 2020

I used a lot of go-to products during my pregnancies as I know they had no nasties in them. They’re smell amazing, are reasonably priced, but as someone now nearing 40, I don’t find they have the ‘punch’ I need for my skin compared to other products. Back in my 20s and early 30s where my skin needed less ‘work’, would have been happy to keep using them.

I do still use the exception oil and tinted lip balm (which is being phased out). 

dp October 30, 2020

@kathp so if he didn’t have daughters, because he is a man, he couldn’t imagine how this might be wrong? 

dp October 27, 2020

@johanna77 it was depressing but at the same time, I don’t see how this article would do anyone a service.

There’s pros and cons to both being young and old, and often times are don’t get a choice, so what’s the point on dwelling on what if? 

dp October 11, 2020

Unfortunately it really is the worst possible time to try and pursued free childcare. We have gone into record debt levels to keep things afloat during the pandemic, and it’s not even close to over.

I also think free childcare is just part of the solution. I know a lot of families - myself included - that wouldn’t put their kids in daycare full time even if it were for free. I took a part time job that was more junior to where I was before kids, and only now - 5 years after my first child - am I back in the managerial role I was in before. We’ve had a much smaller budget to work with at home, but it was a choice we made.

I think a better solution is to have a model where both parents can work part time - Eg 4 days each- so the need for childcare is reduced, the burden is shared across both parents, and there is more chance of progressing - rather than stalling - your
 career in the right role. Flexible work is the key.

dp October 11, 2020

@rush I didn’t take it as a judgement at all and totally understood the context behind how you used it.

dp October 7, 2020

@cat I am literally using a word from Rush’s response. She used oversharer, so I used it in reference back to her comment. Not everything is an attack.

dp October 7, 2020

To add to the ‘humble brag’ claim - a 2 year old isn’t exactly at school, is she? It’s essentially daycare at home. 

dp October 6, 2020

@cat I can think of a lot of reasons not to. Communicating with millions of strangers as it’s happening is very different to reaching out to family and friends when dealing with grief. Hence the curiosity. 

dp October 2, 2020

@rush yea the oversharer theory seems to make sense. I think SM definitely enhances what's already there, as does money. 

dp October 1, 2020

@rush I think the more interesting thing is the timing - for example, when driving him home, she tweeted the heartbreaking line about driving home without her baby, how can this be real...

I’m genuinely curious - what makes people reach out to social media and the public in this moment full of grief and shock and difficulty? I’d love to hear a professional opinion.

dp October 1, 2020

Just horrible.

On a side note - I wonder why she shared so much on social media. I think it might be triggering for people that have gone through the same.

dp September 29, 2020

@laura__palmer they sure do - I think this will just help them go in under false pretences. And sadly make even more people feel unsafe. 

I think we need to - and can - work on those labels. It takes time but it can be done - just look at how attitudes have changes towards  gay people, for example. 
I think it’s especially important for kids and teens growing up. I have concerns over gender surgery for young people as their minds are still developing and hormones are raging - it’s such a permanent decision. But if we worked on the labels, and they could wear clothes and have interests typically assigned to the opposite gender, they may feel more comfortable in their own skin during this period. 

dp September 29, 2020

I feel JK Rowling’s comments have been blown so far out of proportion, as is often the case these days. 

Her concern about change rooms is real. There are twisted men who would totally take advantage of that. The experience of being a woman is also very different if you are genetically a woman vs not. It’s not equal or the same.
I think if our society didn’t label things as masculine or feminine, and just let people be who they are; we’d have far less confusion and far more acceptance all around. 
As for her novel, I guess that’s up to each book store owner. I can see how some people don’t want to stock it, but I can equally see that it’s a blurry line - when does the censorship begin and end? 

dp September 24, 2020

@dikou60 wow.

dp September 24, 2020

@laura__palmer this here is the problem. I’ve worked with/for shore boys. Some were lovely, some were d***s, and every single one was privileged. They’d never applied for a job on seek or sat through a panel interview. 

And it’s not just Sydney schools. I distinctly remember one wedding I went to where a friend was marrying an Adelaide private school alumni. His friends - male and female - watched us Asian/European/mixed heritage group dancing like they were at the zoo. The two single guys were dared to dance with us and they couldn’t suppress their laughter. It was elitist, racist and gross.

00:00 / ???