If you own a Dachshund, you’ll know that deep down, your life will never be the same again. Ever.

You see, once you bring a Dachshund into your life, your home isn’t really yours anymore.

It’s… theirs.

And it doesn’t stop there.

Affectionately known as sausage dogs, this breed of dog may be small but oh boy, they’re bossy.

After all, you don’t own a Dachshund. No, they own you.

Here’s the seven things every Doxie owner knows to be true.

Side note – Dogs can tell when you’re upset, and they want to help. Post continues after video.

1. They have selective hearing.

There’s no denying that Dachshunds have selective hearing.

Ask them to sit? They’ll lie down. Ask them to come? They’ll run away. Or they’ll just straight up ignore you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But open a chip packet and you bet they’ll come running.

We told you – selective hearing.

2. They never shut up. Ever.

Say goodbye to peace and quiet – Dachshunds will bark at pretty much anything and everything.

They might be small but they see themselves as your guard dog and protector, so you bet they’ll bark at anything that’s a threat – even if it’s just the wind.

Yes, really. The wind.

And when they’re not barking, they’re probably snoring like a freight train.

I’ve heard some noises come out my Dachshund that I didn’t think existed.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Barry the Dachshund (@barrythedachshund) on Jun 20, 2018 at 8:33pm PDT

3. They’re masters of the side eye.

Watch out.

Dachshunds are the ultimate masters of the sly side eye.

And if they’re not giving you a cheeky side eye glance, they’re probably serving you their manipulative puppy dog eyes instead.

4. They think they’re Rottweilers.

We’re sorry to break it to you, but if you get a sausage dog, they’re probably going to come with a dose of Small Dog Syndrome.

You see, Dachshunds think that they’re much bigger than they actually are.

via GIPHY

In their minds, they’re Rottweilers and they can take on just about any dog.

But don’t be fooled, while they’ll attempt to take on just about any big dog that comes their way, don’t be surprised if you see them cowering when they come across dogs their own size.

It’s… weird.

5. For short legs, they’re super fast.

Yes, they’re short. But they’re fast.

Good luck if they run off with your socks, you won’t be able to beat them.

Not everyone loves dogs. So when did they become equal to humans in the hierarchy? The Mamamia Out Loud Team discuss. Post continues after audio.

6. You will never sit alone again.

Say goodbye to your personal space – sausage dogs are ridiculously needy.

If there’s a human body part available, they will sit on it. No matter what.

Let’s be honest, you’re nothing more than a piece of furniture to them.

Your lap is now their lap. Forever.

7. They’re ridiculously stubborn.

Dachshunds give the word stubborn a new definition.

Want to command a Dachshund? HA. Good luck.

They can walk perfectly fine on a lead. They’ll just choose not to.

They’re toilet trained too. But if it’s raining, they’ll forget all their years of training and pee inside. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Have you got a Dachshund too? Let us know in the comments section.