*Warning: This post is a little bit gross. Okay. Sorry. A lot gross.
By NATALIA HAWK
You might have noticed that crotch sweat has been making headlines this week.
I know. Crotch sweat isn’t even a phrase I was particularly aware of until a few days ago – but hey, thanks news cycle. It comes after tampon/pad brand U by Kotex released a commercial for sports liners. Liners that are specifically designed to absorb sweat as well as, um, everything else:
In case you can’t watch it – the commercial shows a few different girls exercising and then noticing their sweat patches on their pants and freaking out. One tries to cover it up with boxing pads. Another RUNS INTO THE OCEAN in a vain attempt to distract everyone from her sweaty crotch. Because that’s not drawing more attention to yourself. No, not at all.
My first thought after watching the commercial? Thank you, women’s hygiene brands, for giving me something else to worry about. Because there wasn’t enough on my to-stress-about list – now I must continue to continually check my crotch while working out.
My second thought? How ridiculous is it that we’re worrying about crotch sweat. Really, when it comes to embarrassing incidents when exercising, crotch sweat should be the least of your worries. Because when extreme exercise comes into the equation, extreme things can start happening to your body. Things that normally work really well start working… not so well.
Exhibit A: Runner’s diarrhea.
I never intended to write anything with the word “diarrhea” in it. Ever. But here I am, typing it out.
I first became aware of runner’s diarrhea when I read an article somewhere on the Interwebs by a woman who became a runner, only to discover that it made her want to go to the bathroom.
All the time. An uncontrollable urge that made her too scared to do marathons in the fear that she’d have to stop halfway through and find a port-a-loo.
I’ve tried to track down this article since, to no avail. I have a theory that the author deleted it to prevent further embarrassment. But the general conclusion was that she wasn’t alone in her, um, urges. And you might not know this, because nobody ever talks about it – but Runner’s diarrhea is a thing. So much so that if you type it into Google, it comes up with over 90,000 results to help you fix that little problem.