'The "candid girlfriend" is going viral for all the wrong reasons. It's what I dream to be.'

Move over pick-me girls, girlbosses and sluts, there is a new condescending label for women and it is taking no prisoners. 

I'd like to introduce you to (*insert drumroll here*) "the candid girlfriend." 

The term has been recently coined on a TikTok series created by @subwaytakes where they interview (seemingly) random public transport passengers in New York City during their commutes. 

This particular TikTok however, was interviewing famous stand-up comedian Stef Dag who has over 140k followers across her social media accounts. 

@subwaytakes Episode 104: All guys think that they wanna date the cool, hot, artsy, baddie girl with like baby bangs and a bad father but that’s actually not the case at all. What all guys in New York want to date is the “candid girlfriend.” You can trademark that. feat @Stef Dag Comedy 🎤 @KAREEM RAHMA 🎥 @Anthony DiMieri @Willem Holzer #nyc #newyorkcity #podcast #subway #hottakes #interview #conversations #subwaytakes #dating ♬ original sound - Subway Takes

In the TikTok, the interviewer asks Stef what her "take" is. 

"My take is that all guys think they want to date the cool, hot, artsy, baddie girlfriend with, like, baby bangs and a bad father... [What they actually] want is to date the candid girlfriend," she said. 

Stef then goes on to list more traits of the candid girlfriend...

  • A height of 5'5''-and-a-half.
  • Naturally thin.
  • Has mousy brown hair no longer than shoulder length.
  • Studied art history.
  • She loves pomegranate which her boyfriend thinks is quirky and adorable.
  • Never the overt centre of attention but her boyfriend is always posting film images of her on his Instagram story. 
  • Has nothing going on in her brain.
  • Likes "good" pottery.
  • Her name is... Emily.

She says that all guys want this girl because they can make a muse out of her. 

Stef ends her take by saying, "I would love to meet one of them, I'm a girl's girl." 

The TikTok has now had over 10 million views and people who've watched the video are completely split about the term. 

"She was picturing a specific girl in her head while she described the candid girlfriend," one person commented.

Meanwhile others called out the irony of Stef saying she's a "girls-girl" right after painting a negative description of a particular type of woman. 

While Stef responded to comments making it clear her take was all in good fun, it didn't stop the candid girlfriend term taking on a life of its own with thousands of people naming and shaming women they believe fall into the candid girlfriend category.

@stefdag #stitch with @Subway Takes ♬ original sound - Stef Dag Comedy

And I now have what I believe is an unpopular opinion about the candid girlfriend: I want to be her.


Yes, the way she was described makes her sound like she has nothing going for her but she also has everything going for her. 

As I was watching the video, I pictured what my life would be like as a candid girlfriend.

Luckily, my name is Emily so I think I'm already halfway there. I see myself eating a pomegranate as I shop online for new handmade pottery pieces, attending art exhibitions and openings where I mention to anyone who'll listen that when I was doing my art history degree, my research focused on Kandinsky. 

I'd spend my time editing my boyfriend's photos of me on a free iPhone app and sending them back to him so he can post me to his Instagram stories. I'd end up being the main character at every event without realising because I have nothing going on in my head.

But while it sounds like a bit of light-hearted fun, I agree with the comments saying that creating these "types" of women is just another way to make us feel scared of just... being. 

We can't promote our careers because then we're girl bosses, we can't draw attention because then we're pick-me girls, we can't have sex with multiple people because then we're sluts and now we can't allow men to want to be with us because then we'd be the candid girlfriend? 

It's pretty clear that creating these fresh labels for TikTok, no matter who they attack, won't die down anytime soon. Which is exactly why I'm choosing to not only embrace the candid girlfriend label, but to literally aim to be her because branding women as something they actually like is a lot more fun. 

If you want more culture opinions from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem. 

Feature Image: Supplied, TikTok/Subwaytakes.

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