'I drove off without her!' 14 women share their most embarrassing parenting fails.

This post discusses sensitive topics that may be triggering to some readers.

If you are a parent, then you most certainly have had a moment in your mum (or dad) life where you've been left red-faced by your child. 

It's normal, completely understandable but nevertheless, mortifying.

Mamamia asked 15 women to share their most embarrassing parenting fails - from the downright icky, to the hilarious, and everything in between. 

Here's what they had to say. 

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Anu

"I left my 18-month-old at home, who was waving sweetly to me from our bay window. As I waved cheerily back while reversing down the driveway, I suddenly realised what I was doing! I was heavily pregnant with child number three and racing to leave the house to take child one (four-years-old) and child two (18-months-old) to long day care en route to my work. My husband had left for an overseas work trip earlier that morning, Child one had choked on breakfast, had a coughing fit and vomited plus her budgie had died overnight. Despite all this, we did make it to long day care and work on time and this is now one of child two's (now 17-years-old) favourite story of parental 'mind-farts' as he, eloquently, puts it."

Louise

"My little one had medical needs when he was first born and we had a nurse who would come to the house a few days a week to help with his care. One day she was helping me fold some washing when I saw a flick out of the corner of my eye and it was a dildo in the washing! But not just a vibrator.... it was this fancy one I bought my hubby for a present to put his manly bits in! I died!  And hid it in some baby clothes!"

Dee

"I’d had a particularly stressful day, and I needed to leave the house to pick up some groceries… Little did I know there was a brown-patterned stain right on my boob. Yep. It’s exactly what you think it is. My 3-month-old baby’s s**t."

Rose

"My in-laws are really conservative and politeness trumps over everything for them, so I do my best - but clearly my best is never good enough! Well, when I dropped my kids, seven and nine, off to their grandparents, my oldest jumps out, stands next to them and yells “f**k me! It’s a f**king scorcher today isn’t it?” I swore their faces couldn’t have contorted any more than they did that day."

Chelsea

"I'm a new parent, with a very rambunctious one-year-old. Before she was born, I went all out in buying her the cutest, most adorable newborn baby clothes - all in size 0000. Well, clearly my kid had other plans, because when she came out she was perfect, healthy and... four kilograms. Meaning, she was already a size zero. Hundreds of dollars went down the drain, just like that. I learnt a very big lesson from my first child straight out of the womb! We took her home wrapped in blankets, as she couldn't fit the clothes we had brought to the hospital with us."

Zee

"My seven-year-old son at the time, thought it would be a good idea to show his school friend what was inside my bedside drawer, during a play date. Next thing I know, they’re whipping my two (very expensive, so it makes me shudder even more) dildos around in the backyard like they’re swords! I was mortified. I kept my sex toys out of reach and in my wardrobe after that…"

Sarah

"We’re at church, and the Pastor asks my son how school is. He responds in a loud voice, “f***ing good Pastor, how about you?” I died of shame, and my Pastor died of laughter."

Nana

"As a Nana raising my granddaughter, I often have the most hilarious conversations with her. 

Me: FFS, stop it! [speaking to my husband] 

Granddaughter: FFS Nana, sorry!

She also loves to hang out in her aunty’s room, so often I let her have some alone time (she is two, but for some reason enjoys it). 30 minutes goes by and she yells out, “Nana I’m sad!” I yell back, “well come in here you egg!” She comes in and screams back at me, “you an egg, Nana!" 

Martha 

"My daughter told people at a family party that all I did was sleep all day. I was going through my worst bout of depression and was doing my best to make sure it didn’t affect her. I was naïve to think she hadn’t noticed mum constantly excusing herself to her room, or that she could hear me crying in the shower. I’m much better now, but I was deeply embarrassed when it happened."

Dell

"One time I made a bottle for my newborn daughter but I forgot to tighten the lid… It went all over her face. Don't worry, she's very much okay and 21-years-old now!"

Susan

"My 11-year-old daughter (at the time) read text messages she shouldn’t have while snooping through my phone. I was single and seeing other men, but she didn’t like that I wasn’t with her “amazing, incredible daddy”. Next thing I know, she’s scream-crying and calling me every name under the sun. All in front of our church congregation. I was mortified. 

I went home and sobbed into my pillow while she went on a play date with church friends. My biggest parenting fail was letting her believe we were equals, and that she could speak to me in that way and assert herself into my private life. 

I learnt my lesson, tightened up and I am proud to say she is a very respectful, successful woman today, at 26-years-old."

Diana

"Swimming pool incident. I had no nappies so put my toddler in the with underwear on and next thing I know, she's taken a massive poop. I’m lucky it was a log.... But I did have to fish it out of the water. And don't worry, it wasn't a public pool - it was my in-law's pool. They were not very happy though."

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Nicole

"Never take curious four-year-olds into automated public toilets. There's buttons, sensors and they will open the door while you're wiping your bottom after a number two. The worst part was the door opens onto the main street of a busy town. My daughter now has to stand in the corner, hands beside her body away from everything if I cannot avoid using these toilets."

Mel

"My three-year-old (at the time) never swore and was a very sweet girl. We were at a shopping centre and as I was rushing to Woolies, I pushed her stroller past Gloria Jeans, as she says 'baby chino mummy, baby chino'. As we enter the supermarket, I say 'I'll get you one after I buy a few things.' She replies with 'BULL SHIT', enunciated perfectly and loudly!! We were walking past the about 20 people lining up to pay and all heads whipped around at the sweet child's voice cursing out her mother. Red-faced, I quickly scooted off!"

What's your biggest parenting fail? Let us know in the comments below! 

*Most names have been changed for privacy.

If you think you or someone you know may be suffering from depression, contact PANDA – Post and Antenatal Depression Association. You can find their website here or call their helpline – 1300 726 306.

Feature Image: Getty.