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'Excuse me, but every single Christmas movie is feeding us a big, fat, tinsel-filled lie.'

Think about the last Christmas movie you watched.

There will have been an exorbitant supply of tinsel, a cringe-worthy moment under some mistletoe, and probably (hopefully) some supernatural forces.

These Christmas movies are gloriously trashy and predictable and we bloody love them.

They make us feel all warm and fuzzy, and we find ourselves finishing one and scrolling through Netflix for the next one (just like the characters in the Netflix originals who scroll through Netflix during the film ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

best christmas movies netflix
This moment in The Princess Switch was weird for everyone. Image: Netflix.

We know that every great Christmas movie follows a similar formula.

For some reason the protagonist is always a young female professional, who's trying to make it back to her home town in time for Christmas. Once home she realises that true love (in the form of a six foot brooding model who also happens to be a childhood friend) was at home all along. She continues to pursue this love and she might even take over the family business. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But there's just one problem.

This doesn't happen in real life.

Ever.

In fact, finding a six foot brooding stranger in a small country town who isn't married already is less likely for a young single woman than finding a magic Christmas calendar or finding a stranger who looks exactly like you at a baking contest in Montenaro.

In fact, it's so rare that it made Farmer Wants a Wife possible.

It's just not going to happen. Ever.

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best christmas movies netflix
This guy from The Wedding Christmas Planner would never happen. Okay? Image: Netflix.
best christmas movies netflix
This adorable couple from The Christmas Cure on Stan would never happen. Image: Hallmark.
best christmas movies netflix
Don't even begin to think that this romance from The Holiday Calendar would happen. Image: Netflix.
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best christmas movies netflix
Don't even get me started on this small town romance. Image: Universal Pictures

Any six foot brooding man is swiftly snatched up. That's a fact. If they're not swiftly snatched up, they leave that small town in pursuit of the big city.

But that's not the only problem.

These female protagonists are giving up their very successful careers to move back to the country after falling in love for precisely a week.

A WEEK.

They have given no consideration of what this romance might mean for their LinkedIn or their superannuation.

But that's a Ted Talk for another time.

Excuse me, while I scroll through Netflix for another Christmas movie... for research.

What has been your favourite Christmas movie this holiday season? Tell us in the comments!

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