Oh, no. There’s been a mix up. Barnaby Joyce doesn’t know what an abortion is.

Barnaby Joyce does not know what an abortion is and God have mercy on the person who has to correct him.

Look.

It’s like when your friend keeps pronouncing a word incorrectly and every time you wonder, “Should I?” and then you pause before deciding, “Nah”.

No one wants to be that person.

And now Barnaby has jumped on Twitter in his obnoxious hat and written something silly about a law he doesn’t even marginally understand.

I have a real problem with a law that allows a perfectly healthy full-term baby to be aborted because two doctors say it’s ok, yet NSW’s legislation allows exactly this. Sign the petition at https://t.co/tx5oqQiG8D to demand a proper inquiry.

— Barnaby Joyce (@Barnaby_Joyce) August 4, 2019

I’d feel sorry for him except for the fact he keeps trying to crawl into my uterus without even asking permission first.

“I have a real problem with a law that allows a perfectly healthy full-term baby to be aborted because two doctors say it’s ok, yet NSW’s legislation allows exactly this,” Barnaby tweeted, before sharing a petition people ought to sign for a “proper inquiry”. 

Sir. No.

Who…? What?

A perfectly healthy full-term baby is just a… baby… and if you were to end its life that would be murder. Which is most definitely still a crime.

Do we all agree killing a newborn is a crime and also morally reprehensible? Cool cool.

No pregnancy, to anyone’s knowledge, has ever been terminated at full term.

The bill Barnaby is referring to would end the 119 year criminalisation of abortion in NSW, allowing for terminations after 22 weeks with the consent of two doctors.

The full gestational period is about 40 weeks, a fact I’m including exclusively for Barnaby because I don’t think he… knows.

To be clear, terminations between 22 weeks and 24 weeks are considered “late-term” and according to Marie Stopes Australia, constitute about 1 per cent of all terminations. They are performed for medical reasons, like fetal abnormalities, or when a pregnant woman’s health is seriously at risk.

In South Australia, the only Australian state that offers reliable abortion statistics, 92 per cent of abortions were performed in the first 14 weeks.

Doctors have come out in droves to argue that fears over late-term abortions are “unfounded and unfair“. No doctor is going to agree to terminate a pregnancy at 40 weeks if the birth is viable. Let alone two doctors.

It would seem Barnaby only skim-read the email about the new legislation, and that’s okay. We’ve all been there.

He thought it said that NSW would like to legalise abortions for women on the very day they’re meant to be giving birth, for no reason at all! And that murder should be allowed.

In Barnaby’s defence, that legislation would be alarming. And we’re all very thankful that he shan’t be allowing it. Very good.

But all the NSW bill wants to do is ensure women have access to safe and lawful terminations. Legalising abortion does not lead to an increase in abortions. That’s a statistical fact. If a woman needs to terminate her pregnancy, she’ll find a way to do it.

Ah.

It feels good to clear that up.

Barnaby is going to feel like a real fool when he realises he’s never quite grasped the concept of what an abortion is and is not.

But it’s about time someone told him.