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It's almost over. Random questions The Bachelor has left us with.

It’s almost over, guys. The Bachelor is almost over.

But in last night’s episode, I noticed that Snezana said something along the lines of “Sam and I have only really had three dates”.

‘Hang on one wee minute, Snezzy’, I thought to myself. ‘How have you only had three dates? It feels like you’ve been in the house since Y2K’.

And then my brain started ticking over, something it rarely does while watching The Bachelor. I had questions. So many questions. And now that there is only one more episode in which they could be answered, I feel that, like so many of the Bachelorettes, I’m going to be left hanging.

So, help me, but here’s what’s keeping me up about Bachelor business.

Shock, horror.

Questions The Bachelor has left us with:

1. What the HELL do the girls do all day when they aren’t being singled out for dates? Is it like Big Brother in there? Or some kind of sweat shop?

2. What is the sleeping arrangement? Solo rooms? Bunk beds? One giant love-heart-shaped bed that all the girls spoon in, rotating every 30 mins?

3. How long are they actually in the house? I know that filming finished before the show started airing, but does a rose ceremony happen once a week? Or once a day? What is the schedule, people?

I really care. Really.

4. When do they pack when they get suddenly kicked out (like Jacinda did, and Bec) or do they just leave all their shit at the house and it gets divided between the remaining girls? Or do they all just carry secret suitcases with them at all times?

5. How do the mid-date interviews work? Do the producers legitimately break up a romantic moment to pull them aside so they can commentate on the romantic moment they just had?

6. Are they friends with the camera crew? Can they make-out with the camera crew? What if there is a cameraman who is better than the Bachelor?  Or a camerawoman who Sam prefers? Can she have a rose?

7. The girls with important jobs – how did they get time off work? Is there some ‘reality TV leave of absence’ that is completely missing from my work contract?

What are you even DOING Heather?

8. How often do they actually see the Bachelor? Once a week? Once a month? Why not just shove him in there and let them fight it out?

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9. Do the girls actually think that Sam planned the dates? Was he even involved?

Fortunately, I’ve uncovered a few answers. Though, I still may not be able to sleep at night until I know about the secret suitcases.

Osher knows stuff: “From what the girls tell me, there’s a lot of working out, baking, reading, chatting, eating of the now freshly-baked goods, which is then followed by more working out to work off said baked goods. ” Mmmm. If you take out the working out, I might just need to apply for the Bach.

​Sam answered a few questions online, too. Apparently he has a ‘date team’ whom he sits down with and explains what he wants for each date, and then they pull all the strings. So he is mildly involved… if ‘planning a date’ means saying ‘ummmm…. beach?’ and then having a boat appear, BOOM, to take Sam and lady to a sunset picnic on a secluded shoreline.

Sam in the house. Just do that full-time, no?

And good ol’ Emily from this season spilled a few Bachelor beans too. She told the Herald Sun  that they were only allowed one 10-minute phone chat each week, with producers listening in so that no details could be shared. “I would speak to my mum and then she’d have to call my best friends to tell them what I had said.”

Emily also said that sometimes, the girls were very drunk and tired. “Often, we would be hungry and just desperate to go to bed but then we’d be told to go upstairs, put our pyjamas on so they could film another scene.”

A random ex-contestant from the USA Bachelor said the best thing ever about the cameras.  “They are there in your face the whole time and then when it comes ready to kiss they light a million candles, turn the lights down and then all the cameramen will back off into the corners so you feel like you’re alone. And then, once they have all the footage they need, they cut you off and say ‘we’re done here’.” Uncompassionate camera ninjas. BRILLIANT.

Emily’s face when she is revealing information she is not supposed to.

Also uncovered:

  • The ladies are getting roughly $90 per day they are in the house, while Sam is getting $500 a week.
  • Filming lasts around three months. (HOW did Snezana only have three dates with Sam? Seriously, once a month?)
  • There is a psychologist counsellor person in the house. Good. Necessary.
  • Osher does not talk to contestants off-camera.
  • Filming lasts 12-18 hours every day, and dates last 3-8 hours (according to Sam).
  • Sometimes rose ceremonies are filmed at midnight, when the girls are basically hammered.
  • More than 10,000 candles are used for romantic lighting in the show. Someone has a full-time job lighting candles. Cool.
  • Also, someone else has a full-time job pulling the thorns off the roses for the ceremonies. Blake said it was ‘Johnny from the Art Department’. Good work, Johnny.

So there’s a few answers. But really, we have one major one left:

What the HELL are we going to do next Wednesday? 

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