Women of Australia, there is nothing to see here.
There is nothing broken inside the most powerful workplace in the land.
You must have misunderstood.
There are no allowances made for the terrible actions of the powerful and the privileged.
There is no predatory behaviour tolerated by the men who run this country, nor by the men who work for the men who run this country.
You've got it all wrong.
We have some women here too, you know. Look, there they are, standing alongside us.
They are not unsafe within these walls.
There is no problem with a culture that plucks ambitious individuals and drops them here, where they are isolated from those who might hold them accountable - family, friends, partners, constituents - and asks of them only one thing: Win.
There is no issue with all that drive meeting a 24/7 work culture with no guardrails, vertiginous egos, the young, the sheltered best and brightest, the demand of tribal loyalty.
No. There's nothing unhealthy about that at all.
Truly, there's nothing to see here.
We’re so sorry if you’re confused about what happened to you, or what happened to your friend.
We’re dealing with it. We’re listening. We’re having a long, hard look at ourselves.
We moved that person along. Please don’t make any more trouble. We'd hate to see you waste all that potential.
You must be mistaken.
There are no issues at the schools that feed the steady stream of upstanding men into these corridors.
Those young men are boisterous and healthy. Girls are so forward these days.
All those girls, the ones who are blabbing in their thousands about trauma and shame?
They just met a few bad apples.
Too much to drink.
Young people really do drink too much, don’t they?
There’s honestly nothing to see here.
Oh, and there are definitely no dramas within the union movement that offers up its leaders to this house.
Those are just domestic disputes. Private matters. You know how things can get out of hand.