User Comments

pippa August 2, 2021

@judymac, and that’s the very thing most nurses rarely do:  care for themselves. I speak from experience.

pippa July 17, 2021

Stop it! Just stop it! You’re torturing yourself needlessly if your husband is sincere. You have a choice to make:  you can keep rehashing this endlessly and ruin the rest of your life and, by extension, the lives of your husband and children if you have them, or you can come to your senses.

Coming to your senses involves having a conversation with yourself along the following lines:  this horrible, unthinkable thing happened. I can’t change that. I can allow it to ruin our lives, or I can put it firmly in the past where it belongs. You say that your marriage has improved. What a bonus! For God’s sake look to the future! You’re young, with years ahead of you. Happy years if you make the right choice. If you can’t put it behind you, leave the marriage for the sake of your own mental health and that of your family.
And before anyone reading this starts lambasting me for not knowing what I’m talking about, this happened to me 47 years ago. We’ve now been married for 53 years and there’s been no further infidelity. Everyone who knows us says we’re joined at the hip and our lives are so happy and fulfilling. This can be your future too if you make the right decision.

pippa June 21, 2021

Well, comments like Bindi’s are a sure way to bring healing and peace. With her level of privilege, I simply refuse to cast her as a victim. If she chooses to spend time thinking about how terribly she’s been wronged, that’s on her. I’m in complete agreement with the family member who said it’s a private matter. Her only reason for posting that comment, was to put on the victim’s cloak of ‘poor me’.

pippa June 20, 2021

My parents died within five months of each other. The shock and grief were overwhelming at the time. But I was 62 and a lot more equipped in every way than two teenage girls.

I’m so  sorry this happened to you but stop making excuses for the ‘friends’ and family. They are, as you came to believe, arseholes. The family members were the grownups, it was incumbent on them to care for you.

By the way, my husband of 53 years is in hospital fighting for his life. His heart is operating at 30%, which is bad. So while I think about, laugh about and miss my parents every day, this grief is so much worse.

pippa June 9, 2021

@lizbette, so would you stop travelling in a motor vehicle because people have died in road accidents? Not all men behave badly and those who do are in the minority.

pippa June 5, 2021

My husband retired far too young at 56 and regretted having done so. However, he found an interest in the Ulysses Club and made new friendships with men with a shared love of motorbikes. I continued working for another 10 years and retired at 66. I’ve now been retired for nine years and we’ve never been as close as we are now. We’ve been married 53 years and life is just so settled and comfortable now. While that may sound boring to some, neither of us are in particularly good health, so it suits us. 

pippa May 29, 2021

@jen89 my husband was incredibly supportive of my studying and career. He did his share of housework and childcare, so they’re not all bad.

pippa May 28, 2021

There must be something wrong with me.I’ve been through the pasta necklaces, second hand junk from the Mothers’ Day stall at school, the handmade cards, all of that. I loved it! As I was a nurse for most of my son’s childhood, there were many years I was at work, but we made it a great day anyway.

He’s now 43 and never buys me a gift for Mothers’ Day. That’s because we do something far more special. He arrives with flowers at around 8am and we go out for breakfast. Just the two of us. It’s the only time each year when it’s just us. Usually it’s my husband, our daughter in law and two grandchildren as well. We both treasure this time and we find plenty to discuss and reminisce about. This year it was Expo 88  and the week we spent in Brisbane.
I’ve never begrudged anything about marriage or motherhood. I loved it, even though I worked full time shift work. I loved nursing, but I loved my time with my husband and son more.

pippa May 21, 2021

As I understand it the legal position on this is clear. An engagement rings is a gift given in contemplation of marriage. If the marriage doesn’t occur, the woman needs to return the ring. However, if the marriage does occur, the contract has been fulfilled, so the ring belongs to the woman.

pippa May 17, 2021

I tried this diet and the weight literally fell off! However, I was concerned about the lack of vitamins and minerals in the diet. As a big eater of fruit and vegetables, I missed them and found the diet to be a bit boring after a while.

The worst side effect for me was constipation. The keto diet contains almost no fibre and I can’t see how that’s a good thing. Good bowel health depends on a diet rich in fibre, so that’s why I stopped it after a month.

pippa April 26, 2021

In no way am I diminishing the beliefs of any religion, but I wish someone could give me a convincing answer as to why this self denial is necessary. I was raised a Christian and from a small child never understood why one Christian religion forbade the eating of meat on Fridays. I knew that it was because they believe Christ was crucified on a Friday, but it didn’t make sense when I was 10, and it makes less sense now, although I believe it’s no longer a thing.

My point is that all these restrictions are the edicts of men from the dim, distant past. What possible difference can it make to our place in the afterlife - if that exists - if we have a drink when we’re thirsty or don’t go to confession? I just don’t get how obeying these laws makes you a better person. Especially when I see so many people of all religions behave one way in their place of worship and cheerfully commit crimes and treat others badly in their everyday lives.

pippa April 9, 2021

When I was a kid in the 50s, there was a very popular song called ‘Changing of the Guard’. One line went:  ‘The Royal Standard in the breeze will tell you if their majesties  are there to watch the changing of the guard.’ When we were in London, my husband and I went to Buckingham Palace to watch this spectacle. As we walked through Green Park, the palace came into view and the Royal Standard was flying. I told my husband that the Queen was at home.

Shortly after, we heard a helicopter and realised it was coming from the Palace roof. As we watched, the helicopter rose into the air and, in perfect synchronicity, the flag was lowered. I was amazed at the timing, but I guess if you’re going to get perfection anywhere, it’ll be at Buckingham Palace.

pippa March 31, 2021

How could you put Turkish Delight on the bottom tier?! Seriously, how could you?! I adore Turkish Delight and I know I’m not Robinson Crusoe because whenever a chocolate selection is put out, I always have to fight for the Turkish Delight.

pippa March 17, 2021

@chrissyinthemiddle, message me in Facebook Messenger. Elaine Irvine, is the name I go by on Facebook. I’m the one whose profile pic is a Newcastle Knights quilt. I can then put you in touch with Anthony.

pippa March 15, 2021

@chrissyinthemiddle, that’s great to hear. Kevin Donnelly is also a very wise and clearsighted guy. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the book. Anthony shares all of his articles with me via email. He writes for The Australian, The Daily Telegraph, Quadrant and the Spectator Magazine. I can just see the left wingers rolling their eyes. 😉😊

Add:  I let Anthony know that you were planning on buying his book and he’s offered to gift you a signed copy. He’s a great guy. If you would like that, reply to this and we can figure out how to make it happen.

pippa March 12, 2021

@chrissyinthemiddle, one of my dearest friends is Dr Anthony Dillon, one of Australia’s top Aboriginal academics. Anthony has copped plenty of overt racism throughout his life and one of my favourite ‘Anthonyisms’, is:  ‘Offence cannot be given, it can only be taken.’ Having experienced more than his share of racism during his life, Anthony simply refuses to allow idiots to control his emotions. His chief bugbear is people seeing racism where none exists and this phenomenon seems to be becoming more and more popular.

pippa March 6, 2021

I can’t believe the pressure people put on themselves when they plan a wedding. Your wedding shouldn’t be about ‘perfection’, it should be about the joining together of two people who love each other and want to show their commitment to friends and family. It’s not a competition.

When we married, my mother and I visited one, yes one reception centre while my darling Dad had a snooze in the car. Having decided that we loved it, Dad came in and wrote a cheque for the deposit. We went back a month before the wedding to give the venue final numbers and chose the menu, organised to have an MC employed by the centre and chose the live band we liked from their list.
That was it! A week before the wedding I had a kitchen tea and two nights before the wedding, my friends took me to Miranda RSL for dinner. A great time was had by all and 53 years later we still look back on our wedding day as being a great start to our married life. It wasn’t ‘perfect’, there were a couple of unforeseen mishaps but those mishaps have provided us with laughs through the years.
Your wedding isn’t the marriage. You need to save your energy for the years to come, because if you think a wedding is stressful, it doesn’t come close to the stress you’ll face at times during your marriage.

pippa March 3, 2021

The most concerning thing to me in this whole sorry business is what Peter van Onselen said on Channel 10 news last night. He said that the allegations were made public by a journalist who didn’t consult Christian Porter before publishing those allegations. In no world is this acceptable.

PVO is known to have no time for the coalition government in general, and Scott Morrison in particular, so he’s not speaking from a position of bias. He said that this is nothing short of trial by media and it’s a very dangerous path to proceed along. I agree absolutely.

pippa March 2, 2021

I was forced to place my parents into a nursing home because I lived two hours drive away and worked full time. My sister lived on the other side of the country. I believed the care they got was good and my mother enjoyed her time there. Mostly because she hated housework and cooking and in the nursing home, she didn’t have to do either one. My father had severe dementia, so we never knew how he felt.

Now it’s my turn. I’m 75 and have multiple neurological problems. I can no longer live alone, but my husband is my carer and for the most part, does a great job. I have help under the Commonwealth Home Support Program, which makes life easier for us both. At the moment, I get a cleaner for two hours a fortnight - I’ve been offered two hours a week, but I don’t need that at the moment. We have meals delivered once a week. They are pretty good quality and designed specifically for older people. The government subsidises the cost of these meals. I also have an exercise physiologist come to my home once a fortnight to help with exercises to improve the strength of my legs, arms and hands. Her visits are subsidised by the government, as are the cleaner’s. I feel very lucky to live in a society where this help is available.

I mentioned to my caseworker recently that I can’t bear the thought of having to go into a nursing home and she told me that she will do everything in her power to keep me at home, because ‘You’d never survive in a nursing home!’ Thank goodness for people like her.

pippa February 26, 2021

I have to say that I’m not the slightest bit surprised at the reasoning of some of the husbands. For the last five, 10, 15 years, hundreds, if not thousands of women have been appearing on reality shows having spent thousands of dollars changing their faces and bodies. Some men now expect that if a girl doesn’t possess the big boobs, slim legs and hips and perfect, white toothed smile, she doesn’t care about what men want. She’s selfish for not realising that her physical imperfections are her fault, and if she had any consideration for the feelings of this type of male, she’d rush out and change herself to make him happy.

In my view, the women on recent reality shows have been women who’ve almost all had cosmetic surgery. Many of the more shallow type of male would have been expecting to be paired with a plastic princess and are now disappointed that they’ve been matched with a normal girl, physical imperfections and all.
Of course these picky men, are all the finest specimens of manhood ever! Yeah right!