Right now, the world is divided into two camps.
In the first camp are those who are yet to watch Netflix's new movie, Hillbilly Elegy. They're currently going about their day, blissfully ignorant of the viewing experience that awaits them.
They may have seen the buzz around the movie, perhaps they've even read a couple of the bad reviews, but they're not prepared to accept that the movie is really that bad.
After all, the Netflix film is based on J.D. Vance's bestselling 2017 memoir of the same name, it's directed by Ron Howard, and it features both Amy Adams and Glenn Close (in a glorious wig).
Look you might as well watch the trailer before you go any further. Post continues below.
Surely, that's the perfect recipe for an Oscar-worthy, compelling watch, they boldly claim.
The second camp is made up of the people who have seen the movie. They're the ones who shake their heads and sigh when you mention it.
They're the ones who... know.
If you asked these people to describe the movie to you, they'd probably throw out a bunch of words and phrases that don't seem to make up a cohesive sentence.
Like: Mawmaw, Amy Adams in overalls, screaming the street, Glenn Close in a wig, law school, we're at the hospital again, this seems like a really long day why are they BBQing, Mawmaw's dead, shit there's still 40 minutes to go, oh that's it. THAT'S IT?
Because that's exactly what Hillbilly Elegy is: a bunch of scenes, plonked together, with no clear narrative arc and zero pay off in the end.
The movie, and the book it's based on, follow the story of J.D. Vance (Gabriel Basso), a kid from a working class background in the Ohio rustbelt, who despite the odds, graduated from Yale Law School and became a lawyer. Then wrote a book about it.
J.D's mother Bev (Amy Adams) is addicted to heroin and stumbles from one short-lived relationship to the next. His grandmother, Mawmaw (Glenn Close), ran away from her hometown in Kentucky when she fell pregnant at 13. She smokes and swears and attempts to guide J.D in the right direction through a series of confusing pop culture references.
The movie flashes between J.D. as a law student attempting to secure a summer internship, whilst also trying to find a rehab centre which will take Bev, who has just overdosed on heroin, and J.D as a teenager.