As told to Phil Brandel.
Nobody walks down the aisle thinking it won’t work. I certainly didn’t. If you had told me 20 years ago that I would be divorced three times before I was 45, I would have laughed in your face. I’m a serial monogamist, and I love love.
But now, three marriages in and with my third divorce becoming final next month, I’ve learnt a lot about men, relationships and myself.
I first got married when I was 27, he was six years older than me and a bank manager. Him being older and a professional was really attractive to me.
Side note: Here are the things people never say at weddings. Post continues below.
Not long after getting married I got invited by a local radio station to enter a local stand-up comedy competition. At the time my husband told me not to enter because he said I 'wasn’t funny.’
First prize was a trip to Scotland for two. I told him if I won, I wouldn’t be taking him but If I didn’t win, he would get to be right forever.
So when I won the competition I took my brother, and I got to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The whole experience lit a creative fire underneath me, and when I got back the radio station offered me a job. This upset my husband as we both had serious jobs, and he wanted a serious wife and family.
Not long after that I got offered a job hosting my own radio show in Far North Queensland. I wanted to go, and he didn’t.
Moving for a job that I loved didn’t end the relationship — it was just the final straw. The longer we were together, the more apparent it became that we didn’t have a lot in common.
He wanted to remain very serious and have the perfect wife at home, while I was exploring more fun career options. Looking back, if I had knocked back the radio opportunity I would have ended up resenting him.
That relationship itself lasted about seven years, but we were only married for two.
Husband number two, I met at a party. We dated for about three years and then got married. I really loved him and I wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry me but unfortunately he also wanted to see other women on the side, so that was never going to work.
Six months into the relationship, I found text messages on his phone that were super inappropriate. I also found more messages on his phone and computer about five or six times after that.
At the time there was lots of arguments and anger. Both of us were drinking way more than we should have. I never caught him physically cheating on me, but the text messages were so intimate it made me believe he was. By the time I was 36, marriage number two had ended.
The really strange thing was, he was the one who had been cheating on me, but it was him who ended it.