lifestyle

Science shows younger siblings are funnier, more easy going.

Where you come in the birth order of your family determines if you’ll be funny or easy going…

In news that will strike a dagger into the heart of all elder siblings across the world, research has shown what you dared hope wasn’t true: Your younger sibling are funnier than you.

Anyone who has siblings is familiar with the common dynamics of such a situation. Older child? Stoic, responsible and laden with the burdens of first-time parenting.  Younger? Oh man. Those little sooks got it easy.

And now, a new poll by British based research firm YouGov has found that it’s true. Siblings perceive themselves just as the stereotypes suggest.

Read more: Oldest child? Youngest child? Middle child? Here’s how your birth order affects personality.

Researchers took families with more than one child and questioned them about their personalities.  Most first- borns said ‘Why yes, kind sir. I do most certainly believe I am more responsible than my siblings.  I also believe to be more successful and organised.’

Hillary Clinton. First born.

Younger siblings, on the other hand, basically rolled out of bed for the test and were like ‘wasssup bitchesss!’ and said ‘hells yeah, we are wayy more funny. Everyone knows it. Also, we are the favourite. But don’t get all uptight, you near to learn to be more easy-going and more relaxed like us.’

Josh Thomas. Baby of the family. Also funny.  (via facebook)

Oh WHAT A SHOCK.

The baby of the family is the entertaining centre of attention while us oldies maintain a dignified air of responsibility? You didn’t need a study for this guys, ASK ANYONE with siblings.

Of course elder borns feel a greater weight of responsibility. How do you think Angela Merkel, Hillar y Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandbery and Beyonce got to ride high as the world’s most powerful women?

First born.  They know what it’s like to bear the weight of over-protective parents.   To have school reports forensically pored over.  First borns have strict limitations on social events, bear the panic and perils of first-time P-plates and cop years of wrinkly lipped aunties puckering up for a sandpapery kiss.

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Compare that to the youngest sibling, who, shielded from this blaze of parental exposure, can pretty much kick about eating cheezels and drinking goon and doing whatever they please.

There was a moment in my early childhood that cemented these findings.

When my sisters and I were little, we would all bath together. And when were old enough to bathe without adult supervision, we added an unsavoury ritual to bathtime: we’d piss in the water.

Not just a gentle ablution either. We’d all get out of the bath and one by one, stand on the end of the porcelain ledge and really hammer one into the water. It cracked us up to watch our tiny little fannies having a slash.

Then one day, I hadn’t quite finished my bath. It didn’t stop Brigid though.  She, all of about four years old, stood threateningly over me. I refused to get out. And then it happened.

She pissed on my head.

She thought it was hilarious. THE WHOLE FAMILY CHAMPIONED HER as though the PISS HAIR act was a comedic breakthrough.

But it left an indelible impression on my life;  I, the sensible eldest, had been dethroned.  The youngest child took the mantle of funny. And things would never be the same.

Middle child? Don’t despair either. You may feel neglected, stuck in the wasteland between first borns who get all the attention and last borns who get all the affection. But you have secret powers. There’s a whole OTHER study that says you are more likely than your siblings to be successful and enjoy strong social lives and flourishing careers.

Hamish Blake. Gold Logie. Middle child.

Julia Roberts is a middle. Bill Gates too. And you get Hamish Blake.

I’d like to end this post on a funny note, but as the eldest girl in my family, I’m incapable of such humor. Perhaps I’ll get my sister to piss on my head as I type. That one never gets old.