Nico Tortorella and Bethany Meyers’ wedding was never going to conform to tradition.
The Younger actor and his longtime partner are in a “queer polyamorous relationship”. Both date other people, with Meyers’ exclusively dating women outside of Tortorella.
After 12 years together, the pair tied the knot earlier this month, throwing convention out of the window with their private ceremony. It was beautiful.
“A few months shy of 32. The wedding day. No guests. No flowers. No rings. My “dress,” consisting of trousers. His “tux,” gown inclusive. I suppose you would dub our wedding color white. It was certainly the most traditional thing we did,” the couple wrote in an essay about their big day for Them.
The pair wore “genderbending ensembles” designed by friend Andrew Morrison and were “everything [they’d] ever dreamed of”.
The fact that they both wore trousers and a dress was an important and symbolic decision.
“Timeless androgynous paraphernalia mimicking romanesque sculpture that fluidly blends masculine and feminine. in this relationship, we both wear the pants and the dress,” they explained.
Can’t believe I kept my mouth shut for an entire week until we shared this. We waited because we wanted the opportunity to tell our story, in our own words—which we did—and I hope you take a moment of your day to read and open your mind to what different types of love can look like. Link to the article found in our bios. Thank you to @them for giving us a platform to tell it on. @victoriamatthews_ for her incredible photography skills. @andrewmorrisonstudio for creating these gender fluid looks. And @jkcarrington for ensuring the day ran as smooth as could be.
The date, March 9th, also had a special meaning for the pair.
“The day was march 9, 2018. 3/9/18. In numerology the 18 becomes a 9, so for all intents and purposes, we shall forever remember the day as 399, an angelic number if i’ve ever seen one,” Meyers wrote.
“You see, 39 is a blessed count, and with an extra 9? This was entirely planned.”
“I choose to believe 399 produced two husbands and two wives from just Bethany and I,” added Tortorella.
They acknowledged that plenty wouldn’t understand the way they do things.
“[It’s] something I’m gradually learning to accept. For others, it will help open their eyes to different ways to love. And for some, our story will make them feel less alone,” Meyers wrote.
“It will give them strength to ask for the things they want and need in a partner. As traditional as we may appear on the outside, we are far from it on the inside.”
Interestingly, she believes their polyamorous relationship is part of the secret of their success.
“Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn’t. It’s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realized it’s the reason we are impenetrable. It’s hard to break something that bends.”
For the full essay on their wedding including their gifts and vows to each other, head to Them.
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