14 things you never thought you'd say until you became a mum.

Bern with her two boys.

Before I became a mother I, like most people before they were parents, had a bunch of ideas and ideals that I was adamant I was going to stick to. For instance, before I had a baby, I was unwavering in my belief that a baby shouldn’t become dependent on a dummy.

Fast-forward to my first night at home and a screaming baby and I quickly revised that particular decision.

As I quickly found out, the ‘idea’ of how parenting should be and the reality were two very different things. As soon as I gave into this and just went with the flow, I found out I stopped beating myself up about ridiculous things and as a result, started to enjoy it more.

The other eye opener is that, BC (Before Children) I couldn’t, even if I tried to, imagine the kind of conversations that I’d be having with my husband or my children. There is no possible way of knowing that some of the words or phrases coming from my mouth would even be spoken, let alone be dropped into conversation so casually…

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Combantrin®, But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.

For example, this casual text I sent to my husband recently:

Jack has worms. Can you swing by the chemist on your way home?

Once upon a time the IDEA of having to type or utter those words would have repulsed me, yet as a veteran with nearly 15 years of parenting under my belt now, I would say that almost nothing phases me. As evidenced by the following phrases I never thought I’d say…

Come here! I need to smell your bottom.

1. Come here! I need to smell your bottom


2. STOP eating the rug!

3. For the last time, take the cat out of your pants!

4. Was her poo hard, soft, runny or just right?

5. Let Mummy just pick that booger out of your nose before you go play

6. No you CANNOT lick the floor

7. Please don’t bite my foot

8. Great job getting it in the toilet bowl buddy! I’m so proud of you!

9. No darling, we do not eat rocks

10. Did you just lick my toe?

11. No, the dog bone is not a toy!

12. Oh no, she’s fine. In fact she only vomited twice today and her poo is solid!

13. Jack! Get your head out of your brother’s butt for the LAST time.

14. Stop eating the cat food!

I love that all of the above, at one point in time, have come out of my mouth and not only do they not worry me, they feel completely natural. As a parent, especially as a new one, the realisation quickly dawns on you that you are this tiny human’s protector and instinctively you find that there is nothing in the world that you will not do for them. The conversations we have as parents are wildly different to those that we had as carefree teens or childless couples, but they are real and they make all the sense in the world to me now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Flick through this gallery of, You know you’re a parent when… 


Since becoming a parent, what’s the one phrase that has come out of your mouth that you didn’t ever think you’d hear yourself say?

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