'You're not two-faced, you just have multiple personalities.' The worst traits of every star sign.

At the risk of throwing absolutely every single one of us under the bus, your star sign (we call it Sun sign in astro-speak) is actually so much more than the shiniest parts of yourself beaming from under a spotlight.

Yep. They're also equal-parts the weird, wonderful, whacky s**t you get up to when you think no one is looking.

That’s the thing about astrology — nothing is safe. And when we take a look at the creepy stuff? Well, you might feel even more seen than just focusing on the bright and shiny. (I also suggest checking out your Moon sign and Rising sign for a full-spectrum roasting — all to be taken with a side of a grain of salt, obvs.)


You genuinely think you’re right and everyone else is wrong. At everything. Ever. If an Aries starts a sentence without using the word "I" then are they even an Aries? They know it all, and they're also the best at everything — which is ironic because given they are the "youngest" sign of the zodiac, they actually know the least out of them all. But don't tell them that unless you want to be yelled at. 


You'd happily build a grown-up fort, stay in your PJs all day, order pizza and maybe break up the resting with a bit of sex (with yourself or someone else, you’re not fazed). Actually, some might go so far as to call this lazy... But no, no, you're just misunderstood! Taureans simply understand the meaning of life — and that is to eat good food, watch trashy TV, and lounge around either totally naked or in tracksuit pants with three-day-old dinner stains. Right?


Watch: The Star Signs In A Time Of Crisis. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.


You're not two-faced, you just have multiple personalities — there's a real difference (you tell yourself). Geminis not only love to wind down to a serial-killer documentary, but also happen to know every single teeny, tiny, minor fact about that random actor your friend saw that one time in that movie that they can't even remember, and they didn't actually even ask about. You'd tell them it's because you like to keep up to date with trivia, but really you're just a know-it-all. 


Being out in the big wide world actually takes so much energy for you, and people just need to accept that, okay? It's exhausting when you've spent the whole night crying to a nostalgic playlist that reminds you of your teenage first love while baking muffins for the old man across the street because you can just sense he needs a bit of kindness, even if he did throw out the last batch you made...


It's hard to come to terms with, but often you forget that the world doesn't actually revolve around you. Like, people genuinely have moments in their lives where you aren't even a thought — and that feels confusing, I know (I'm a Leo too), but you're actually not the centre of anyone's universe except your own. You're also a karaoke hog, and sometimes your jokes aren't funny. There, I said it.



If you open the Notes in your phone, you will find the inner workings of your psyche. Everything must take the form of a list, at all times, or something bad could happen. You likely carry three different types of hand sanitiser in your handbag (scented, unscented and a cute colourful one), alongside a secret tiny mirror and comb to make any last-minute or on-the-go touch-ups — not on you, on everyone else.


You're so pretty that you find it tricky to validate yourself for anything other than your looks and impeccable dress sense. People don't actually realise how much Librans think, because you've mastered the art of surface-level chat and skillful flirtation so well — and sometimes your opinions are less yours, and more what you think will get you the most clout (or a date with your latest crush).


You want people to be scared of you. You love the power that comes with instilling fear in someone else. But you're not mysterious — oh no. You just don't let anyone 'ordinary' into your inner circle. They must be hot. You must want to have sex with them. And then, and only then, can they access your creative genius (or burn to dust, either way, you’re not fazed).


People's bucket lists amuse you because most of them are just a day-in-the-life for you. Sagittarians are genuinely honest when they say they don't care what anyone else thinks. Which can make you hard to be friends with, because you will tell people exactly what they don't want to hear, even if they're at their lowest point. Tough love baby. Now can we all suck it up and dance on that table over there?



You secretly don't like anyone. Unless they have a connection or level of influence that can get you ahead, and then you are happy to pretend to like them. You just need people around you who understand what it takes to be the leader that you are. Is it too much to ask for some admiration every now and then? And maybe a cheque for $10 million?


You actually get off on people not understanding you. You think it's your quirky 'bit' but really, people have just stopped trying to get it. You're the one with the random piercing in the weird place, and the tattoo you secretly regret but wear with over-exaggerated pride because it makes you stand out. God, you just want to stand out. But also, can people stop staring at you, it's so annoying!


Oh, Pisces. I'm sorry your last. Again. Like always. It's just that your depth makes you a tough one for everyone-in-the-entire-world-you've-ever-met to really understand you. That's why you need so much energy work. A sound healing. A psychic reading. Some reiki. Any means of escapism from the confines of living in this oppressive human form. Well, that or alcohol.

Feature Image: Canva/Mamamia.

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