Simon and I had offices less than 10 feet from one another for four years, but I’d never given him much thought until after we both attended the same work conference during my separation.
During a lunch break between sessions, he told me he was going to a used bookstore nearby.
Surprised, I said, “Could I come along?”
“Sure,” he said.
Side note: Here are the horoscopes virtual dating. Post continues below.
After we’d perused two different bookstores, we each ordered an espresso at a cute cafe. I looked at him across the table from me and thought, “Interesting.”
Three months after I’d filed for divorce, Simon and I started dating.
We agreed in the beginning, based on my suggestion, not to tell anyone and to keep our distance from one another during the workday.
After a few weeks, I told my closest friend at work.
“Him? Really?” she said.
“Yeah, why?” I asked.
“I just would have never put the two of you together. You seem so… different.”
I wished I’d pressed her to explain more, but I had to learn what she meant the hard way.
When I let Simon know that I’d told my friend, he asked, “Can I tell people too?”
“Sure, but keep it to people you can trust.”
I expected Simon to understand that he needed to treat the details of our relationship respectfully.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Simon, it turns out, really wanted to brag. I learned later that he described how fantastic I was in bed to a group of men I’d worked with for six years, men who had no business imagining what I looked like naked or the kinds of things I did in the bedroom.
At first, I was — I hate to admit it — flattered. My husband had often turned down my sexual advances, and I’d left that relationship longing for someone to find me desirable. For Simon to be so impressed by my sexual adroitness to brag about it seemed like a win.
But then I didn’t like how these men — all married — seemed to now… assess me. When I walked past them in the hall or started up a casual conversation with them around the coffee pot, I felt their eyes on me in a way I hadn’t before.