I’d do anything to protect my children.
They come first. The thought of anything happening to them fills me with dread and sometimes keeps me up at night. Nothing out of the normal realm of parental anxiety.
That’s why I completely understand writer Kasey Edwards and her husband making the decision to never leave their two daughters in the care of a male.
In an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald over the weekend titled ‘Why I won’t let any male babysit my children,’ she describes how no man (her husband aside) would ever care for their children due to the risk of child sexual abuse. It’s a pact they’ve stuck to and now that they have two daughters, new rules have been added. No sleepovers. No sporting camps. No play dates without a woman present at all times.
Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and Jessie Stephens talk about the politics of male babysitters on this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Article continues…
And before you start to judge her for her choice, consider this.
It is the sexual predators who are at fault. They have left parents with no choice but to take drastic action.
Edwards explains, “My husband and I do not want to delve into the characters of every man that we know and assess whether or not they are potential sexual predators, so we apply our rule to all men to avoid casting aspersions on people.”
Top Comments
I respect your decision. Looking after your children takes top priority at all times. I know many parents who have blanket 'no sleepover' rules etc, not because they don't trust anyone, but to avoid potentially awkward situations where they have to explain why their child is allowed to stay at one persons house and not another. I personally have some male family members (not all of them) and some close male friends who I am comfortable leaving my kids with. Others I am not, either because I don't know them well, I don't trust them to be responsible, or I just feel instinctively a bit 'off' about them. Is this unfair? Maybe - but I make no apologies for trusting my instincts with my daughters. Parents should never feel obligated to explain why they are not comfortable with you looking after their kids. Any decent person (especially if they are a parent themselves) would understand this position.
Culturally, she's teaching her kids that only women look after kids, but more significantly, she is ignoring the risk of a woman either fascilitating her kids' molestation, or molesting them herself (lower risk, but if we are looking at vague potentials here, it's not impossible) but one other thought is that if she doesn't trust herself to detect risk, then how does she trust her husband?