Since when was making friends so hard?
At school, they just kind of showed up and we bonded over a packet of chips at recess.
At university, and later in the workplace, things happened naturally because we were pretty much forced to be in each other's presence on a regular basis.
Friendships blossomed in the close quarters of a share house. The incidental exchanges over time helped shape our understanding of one another's character and views - we developed foundations strong enough to overcome the odd compromise or personal crisis or irritating habit.
Watch: Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Post continues below.
The shared history settled down around us like a warm jumper. It's not just knowing someone else well, the comfort comes from the knowledge they know you well.
But people moved on. A few relocations and a couple of kids later and friendships of this kind are a distant memory. The old friends still exist, but the distance and busyness makes companionship near impossible.
It's seriously difficult to replicate the shared history with new friends, it's like switching therapists and having to repeat your story over and over to help them understand who you are.
Building friendships in the context of adult commitments and problems is effortful and tough. I've learned I'm terrible at small talk and my kids interrupt me in conversation at 30-second intervals. I overshare and tell people about my episiotomy too soon.