By BERN MORLEY
Perhaps you are thinking about renovating. Perhaps you’ve outgrown the space that was just GREAT when it was only the two of you but now, with an impending arrival, you’re considering an extension. Perhaps you’ve lost your freaking mind.
That’s why I’m here.
Simply to give you a few pointers as someone who not only has three children, but has also renovated the original money pit.
Our grand plan was this: Buy the worst house in the best street, renovate it, sell it and then do it again – roughly five more times. I pictured us, mortgage free, able to relax in our late fifties, dining out regularly on our brilliant idea.
Sadly, this hasn’t happened. Mainly because we are completely shit at renovating.
This wasn’t our first renovation but it was certainly our most major and I seriously believe that my husband and I sat down and smoked a massive joint the day we put in an offer on that house because it is the only feasible explanation I can come up with as to why we didn’t see how useless and expensive that house would be make liveable for a family of 5. Or a family of 2 for that matter. To be fair, the market was high, we were panicking and living with my in-laws with three children, one a newborn.
It was like the trifecta of shit decision making.
I think though, we just totally underestimated the scale of the renovation. I had just had a baby and the house was dazzling us with its orange shag pile carpet, non-existent cupboard space and vicinity to the water.
I liken the process of renovating to getting married.
Hear me out.